Working as a waitress for a few years, I find that so many people really have no clue about the things waitstaff at restaurants deal with. Most just assume that our job is to simply and without question, cater to your every need. While that may partly be true, there's more to it. Here is everything your waitress/waiter can't actually say to you but wishes you knew.
1. If we ask "Would you like another soda?" it's probably not free.
Every time I ask this, people look at me and say "well is it free refills?" and I painstakingly have to look at them and tell them it's not.
2. I'm not your slave.
Yes I get paid to take your order and bring you what you need but I'm not here to cater to you and only you. I have other tables you know.
3. Please just say yes or no when I ask "Need anything else?"
Yeah I want the winning lotto ticket too, unfortunately the chefs here haven't figured out that recipe.
4. Ask for separate checks in the beginning.
OK, so not every restaurant has a fancy POS system where they can just hit "split checks" at the end. Sometimes we have to create whole new tickets and remember who got what when you decide to tell us as we put the check on the table that you wanted that separate.
5. It's not my fault you just don't like the food.
Something in your food that shouldn't be there? Fine. Food not cooked enough? Fine. You just don't enjoy this new dish you've never had before? Not our fault. Don't get angry with me when you hate mushrooms but the menu clearly states there are mushrooms.
6. It's also not really my fault your food is taking a long time.
I gave the kitchen the order, I told them what order to make. My part of the process is done. I can't go back there and start cooking. Please don't look at me like I personally took your food to Guam and forgot that it was for you.
7. Don't argue with me over a price.
People like to take it upon themselves to freak out over the prices of things at the end of the meal when it was clearly labelled in the menu. Also, if you're adding extra cheese, extra chicken or extra whatever, it costs. We didn't get that for free.
8. If you need multiple things, try asking for it all at once.
Don't ask for napkins, wait for me to come back and say you also need a side of sauce and then when I get back from that ask for another fork. Of course, I'll get everything for you while trying to keep a smile on my face but it's very annoying.
9. Control your children.
I get it, babies cry a lot. If it's a quick five minute fit, fine. But do not come in with an upset baby, knowing it's going to cry and sit in the restaurant. That is inconsiderate for the workers and for any other table dining. No one wants to listen to a screeching child while trying to hold conversation.
10. Put your phone down when I'm taking your order.
Oh I'm sorry, is twitter more important than ordering your dinner? Maybe you shouldn't have gone out to eat. Just a thought.
11. Don't walk in on a busy night and tell me "I need to be out of here fast."
I can't guarantee your food will get out in a timely fashion when the kitchen has 20 other meals to make. If you were on such a schedule, maybe you should've come in earlier.
12. Please don't leave a crappy tip.
Waitstaff gets paid next to nothing, sometimes actually nothing if they're making a lot in tips. So your $1 on a $30 order is kind of a slap in the face. The rule should be 15 percent for not so great service, 18 percent for alright service, 20 percent for good service and maybe higher if they went above and beyond for you.
