2 weeks ago, I wandered into the Barnes & Noble in Union Square. I had some time to kill before a class I was taking and figured it couldn't do any harm to look at books, skim some summaries, and use the bathroom that will be significantly cleaner than any toilet I would find for the next few blocks.

As I am engulfed by the sensational aroma of untouched pages, I see a sign in the middle of the first floor of the four story store.

"BLIND DATE WITH A BOOK," it reads in the most neat handwriting I've ever seen. I had seen these things on the internet. All these accounts on twitter and instagram pretending that they've read a real book within the last year. They post pictures of the display that looks similar to the one in front of me: a basket filled with books neatly wrapped in brown paper that had thread tied around it. The same handwriting on the sign is on each of the wrapping paper that separates me from the book. Each book has it's genre written on it with three plot points designed to intrigue the reader. There are books labeled thriller, indie drama, teen, mystery, one is even marked adultery. However, the one that catches my eye says "True Crime" in red ink in all capital letters. The three plot points say "murder," "Angel of Death," and "for fans of serial killers." As soon as I read the last plot point, I grab the book and head up to the register. While the woman behind the counter rings me up, I begin to think about why I am so enthralled by the idea of serial killers.

Not even a week before I bought this book, the internet exploded with news that Netflix had released "The Ted Bundy Tapes" and Zac Efron dropped the trailer for the new biopic about Ted Bundy on the day of the thirty year anniversary of Bundy's execution. Every tweet on my timeline seemed to reference Bundy in some certain way. Whether it was a meme with Zac Efron, praising of the film, talking about how there was fear to watch the tapes alone, their own encounters with Bundy, or the criticism of the choice to bring light to Bundy and cast Zac Efron as the killer, everyone had something to say. It didn't matter what context it was in, everyone had something to say about Ted Bundy.

As a Tacoma natives, we all knew that the monstrous serial killer Ted Bundy grew up on Sheridan Street. That is about a seven minute drive from my house. I had a substitute teacher stop class one day to tell us he went to high school with Ted Bundy. Because Ted Bundy lived in my town, anyone could have been a victim. Although unlikely, it's possible. My aunt could have been a potential victim. He went to a college I drove by almost everyday. When I tell people that, I get a similar reaction to when I tell people I ran into Joe Jonas in San Francisco. It's utter shock. Because Ted Bundy in his own way is a celebrity. His case captivated the nation as people were entranced by his charm and persona, so much they didn't believe this man actually killed these women. In the Ted Bundy tapes on Netflix, the interviewer says he knew Bundy loved this attention and when he agreed to this interview, he saw it more as a celebrity tell all interview. Something we'd expect Jennifer Aniston to do about her relationship with Brad Pitt. Bundy never revealed anything about the murders, it was all about his childhood and growing up and falling in love. We made him a celebrity. Unintentionally, yes, but the idea that "all press is good press" was all that mattered to Bundy. Due to our creation of him as a figure, this also intrigues us like we become intrigued by who Harry Styles is dating, the royal wedding, pictures of Rhianna being just like us. He became a celebrity and in a culture consumed society, we eat that up.

Movies and television shows about people like this have always found their way into media. In 2017, there was the release of the film about the infamous Jeffery Dahmer, starring Ross Lynch (interesting choice, it seems we enjoy casting Disney boys as psychotic men). And even then, I have only mentioned movies about real life serial killers. There have been countless movies about fictional serial killers. Popular movies about fictional serial killers include the critically acclaimed Silence of the Lambs, American Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Saw, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, etc. I could spend this entire post just naming movies about serial killers, fictional or real.

So why if these people are horrific and terrible are we so entranced in their stories?

Part of it is our desensitization to the idea of killing. In almost every movie where someone is killed, there is usually little to no emotional response. In fact, there is a whole meme about how a woman or man could die in a movie and it wouldn't matter, it is when the dog dies that there is an eruption of all Hell. I remember reading The Hunger Games in middle school and I read about death after death after death after death, until only Katniss and Peeta remained (sorry for the spoiler if you have yet to read or learn about the fate of most of the characters in this trilogy). Then the movie came out and I actually watched death after death after death after death after death until the final two stood on top of the metal cornucopia. I watched this movie seven times in theaters and not once did I show any kind of sadness or remorse for these characters dying in front of my eyes. Yes, just a movie, but because there are so many films about fictional killings that when there is a story about a real serial killer, we see it as just a story. That's all they are. Stories. That's why writers and directors are constantly finding new ways to shock us and make us react to something because we as a population have seen it all. We've seen explosions, stab wounds, gun shots, decapitation, blood, missing limbs, we've even seen zombies! There's nothing we haven't seen! Because we've seen it all, when a movie is made about someone who is this vile, they're doing gross and disgusting things, but they're not cutting off a woman's boob and stapling it to the hood of a police car. Because we are so desensitized to these kind of things, we are able to read about and watch these things easily without becoming queasy.

Aside from our lack of emotional response, we are always looking for answers. Our fascination with answers is how we live. This is why most people hate philosophy and ethics, there's not an answer. The answer is just a question to the question that was proposed. If I asked you one of Socrates' great question, "What is good?" and you tried to answer me, most people would respond with the answer, "the opposite of bad." But then what is bad? Then it becomes this continuous loop with no answer and we become frustrated. In the case of serial killers, we always are looking for the answer. Why did they do it? The question every tough police chief asks their associate when they're stuck and can't figure out a very simple murder in a movie. The very reason we crave answers is why Ted Bundy was such an interesting case: he knew we would look for the why. Bundy was a psychology student. He knew why we crave those answers because he studied how our brains work. He knew we would try to pin it on some kind of trauma which is why in most of his interviews, there was never any mention of any possible motive of trauma.

Due to our fascination with "why," this is why we love to discuss things like serial killers. In an article from Psychology Today, Scott A. Bonn describes serial killers in my favorite way. Bonn states, "serial killers for adults what monster movies are for children." Until reading this article, I had never put those pieces together, but it makes more sense than you might think. When we are children, a monster in the closet is the biggest threat. Occasionally, he's under the bed, but most of the time he hides in the closet. Because that monster is a threat to us, we constantly want to talk about it. We want everyone to know about this monster and our fear. In the adult world, there are no monsters like that. No furry monsters that growl and have glowing green eyes. No. The monsters are people. Serial killers are these monsters. And we get riled up by fear. Excitement and fear do not live far apart similar to how love and hate are neighbors. Our brains release similar chemicals.

Our interest in serial killers is bizarre and yet not unexpected. We're always interested in stuff that doesn't make sense. A normal person can't understand why someone could do this. And that's why in some movies, the serial killer is humanized. So we can find the humanity and understand their mindset. And yet while some humanize them, others dehumanize them so they become this almost otherworldly being. And the constant debate between human and not human is another form of fascination. Whether it be in the cases or tweeting at people that "Zac Efron shouldn't have played Ted Bundy because he's attractive and likable," (which is honestly a really dumb argument because Bundy's whole thing was using sexuality and likability to lure his victims in), the interest and awe over the individuals is there in some way.

This fascination will never go away because we will always want to know more and remain unphased by killings in the movies. Stories will still find their way into the world, movies will still be made, books will be written, studies will be done on the psychology of serial killers, and tweens on the internet will still try to be fake woke on the internet about topics they want to be relevant in. Just because we have this interest in learning more about these people, doesn't make us bad people. It's like how watching all 37 Fast and the Furious movies won't make you a reckless driver. They're a part of our culture and we're simply embracing it.