College is a weird concept, mainly because we’re told from the start that this is the time to find and define ourselves and wallow in our newfound independence. This independence and self-knowledge are pretty hard to attain, however, when we’re constantly surrounded by people and alcohol and teachers and homework and stress and well, life. Don’t get me wrong, this is all awesome; the environment is filled with new opportunities to have a damn good time with some damn good homies. The only catch in this—at least, that I’ve observed—is the fear people have that comes with this change—the fear of loneliness.

Loneliness is also a weird concept because that word usually carries a negative connotation, e.g. the lonely school nerd, a lonely stray dog, etc. Our plugged-in world that’s constantly connecting people via texts/Snapchats/all that jazz makes it pretty rare for us to not be in involved in something other than our own heads. I guess what really stands out about all this is the constant need for our generation to be connected to someone, or to at least look like they are. I guess that’s why people can’t walk around on campus without staring down at their iPhones. It is not a bad thing to make new friends, to meet new people or to leave your comfort zone. It is a bad thing, however, to feel the need to conform to the social norm and force yourself to go out so you don’t seem “lame” or whatever.

I’m not quite sure when it became such a “scary” thing to be alone. Maybe it was around the time when people began perceiving the terms “lonely” and “alone” to be synonymous. Contrary to popular belief, it is not a bad thing to be your own companion sometimes. Hell, I’ve had some of my best nights staying in and writing, as I try to figure out what goes on sometimes in my damn head. Does this make me a loner? Maybe. But since when did that become such a bad thing?

While it’s important to break from your comfort zone and push yourself to make new friends, I think it’s equally as important to use this time at college to try and understand yourself. I encourage everyone to break from the social norm for a little bit, because what you discover about yourself might just surprise you. You’re cooler than you think, people.