My Sensitivity Is My Greatest Strength

My Sensitivity Is My Greatest Strength

And I will no longer apologize for it.
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Consistently throughout my life I have felt...well a lot. Sometimes I think it's almost as if I feel everything going on in the world. Wouldn't that be the absolute worst super power to have? Man in New York got stabbed? I felt it. Woman with a broken heart in Idaho, felt that one too. But in all seriousness I have lived my life picking up on others' emotions and the feelings of the environments around me. I react strongly to situations and think deeply about my responses. My feelings are hurt easily and I worry profusely about what is happening around me. I have spent my life thus far apologizing for this. I have apologized to the point where it's as if my feelings are the most vexatious occurrence to happen in the world. I apologize extensively for my own thoughts and feelings.

Living in a society where we are typically told to be strong and cutthroat to get ahead, and where we are told to avoid showing feelings to others, us sensitive souls have ridden ourselves with guilt over one of the most important traits that was given to us.

I am sensitive, and I am no longer going to apologize for it.

God forbid my neighbor sees that I was crying this morning. Or that a snide remark a stranger made got to me. We are human, and we are allowed to feel. We are allowed to take up space with the expression of our feelings.

My sensitivity has become my favorite thing about me, and if you're in the same boat it should be one of your favorite characteristics as well. I have the ability to be vulnerable, let my guard down and let others into parts of my life that not many do. I do not hide feelings or play games with others. Everything is laid out on the table when one meets me, and it's their choice wether to take it or leave it.

I tear up when I think of the people I love. I feel the pang of anger fire through me when a friend is hurt. I understand the environment I am in and the mood of those surrounding me, which aids with my ability to work with others.

My sensitivity is the core trait that makes up all the small pieces of me. My sensitivity is my creativity, it is my tender heart, it is my passion for helping others, it is my long and continuous thoughts. My sensitivity is my wholehearted courage. My sensitivity is my need to connect with others and learn about their stories. My sensitivity is my ability the be the compassionate person that I am. That one single trait is the essence of my very soul.

The next time you let your feelings out, leave them for a moment before you hurry with apologetic embarrassment attempting to take them back. We are no longer apologizing.

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I Have Avoided Reading My Bible Like It Is My Least Favorite Vegetable, But God Has Brought Me Back

I know it's sometimes the last thing you want to do, but hear me out.
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Sometimes it feels like life is always hitting you down and never giving you a break. As if it’s life’s personal vendetta to make sure you have the worst time living, whether that be spilling your coffee on your newly-clean white blouse before work, forgetting to do an assignment, parking too close to a pole so that your side mirror flies off the minute you back up, or losing someone you love.

It all really sucks.

At one point, the last thing you want to do is open up your Bible and read about God and “stuff.” You want to cry, curse, and just sulk in your sadness. In fact, one time I sat in my car for a solid 40 minutes and pouted because I did not want to see anyone or talk to a single person.

Did I feel better when I got out of my car and walked back to my apartment? Sure. Did it last? Not at all. The minute I got back I felt that same sadness and anger I had in the car. In my room, I tried to fill my pain with chocolate milk, food, and a hot shower, but all it did was numb me at that moment. It didn’t provide a real solution for what I was going through.

That same night I saw my Bible sitting on the desk and knew what I had to do. I could feel God pulling me to Him. So I sighed super loud, and grudgingly sat at my desk, and opened it to the book I was studying, and read. I was like a child whose parents were making them eat vegetables.

And just like vegetables, while you may not want to eat them, sometimes they are healthy for you. The Bible is the same way.

After reading just a few verses, this calming force seemed to shoot back at me. It felt something like this:

As I kept reading and reading, the more every tense muscle in my body left, and my mind was filled with this soothing bliss.

There is just something magical about being in the presence of the Lord. When you open your Bible it's like this instant burst of calm has washed over you and all your anxiety, worries, etc. is gone.

It’s just you and Jesus. Then you wish you could always feel this way all the time. But you can!

God is always here, the Bible is always here, and we are always in need to calm down our wrecking ball of feelings.

He is the calm to your storm. The bringer of peace, and the One you should always go to...Your Father.

Am I still going to sulk and cry in my room at night? Probably. I’m only human.

But I know the peace and calm that I get from spending time with the Father, and therefore will always know, the biggest answer to any of my problems is Him.

Only He can give you peace to whatever you are going through. Not food, Netflix, boys, coffee, crying, showers, chocolate milk, etc. Even though we try, we will never experience true peace when our dam breaks and pain floods our lungs. Food and crying are all temporary things, that may soothe us at the moment, but don't compare to the effervescent joy you get when you simply open up your Bible or pray.

If you are feeling beaten down, and like you can’t get up, open up the Bible. Read a passage or two. Believe me, you’ll end up feeling a lot better. And if you don’t know what to read, here are some suggestions!

Comment your prayer requests and I will pray for you and whatever pain you are going through in this season of your life.

Cover Image Credit: Gillian Rea Photography

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Trust In God's Timing Even When You Don't Want To

He has a plan for your life.
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As humans, we want to plan out every aspect of our lives. We want to know what is going to happen and when. We want to know absolutely every small detail and how it will affect us but knowing everything is absolutely impossible. We cannot predict the future, but God already knows our future.

God has a plan for each and every one of our lives. I know we get impatient and that is normal, but if you realize God has his timing for a reason, and that He closes and opens doors for a reason. He places certain things, people, and situations into our lives to help us learn and grow.

He wants us to become stronger every day. He is always working to help us, never to hurt us. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) tells us “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

We tend to want things in our own timing. We want certain things, but sometimes that doesn’t happen, or it takes a really long time to get what we are wanting. We may not understand at the moment, but God is keeping things from us because it will hurt us or we are not ready for them yet.

For example, if you are really wanting a relationship with someone, but you are still single, God probably wants you or needs you to be single right now, but that doesn’t mean you will be single forever. He saves us from things that He knows are not good for us when we do not realize it ourselves.

He is all-knowing. He knows what we want, and he hears your prayers. He is working on what you are asking Him for but on His terms. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV) tells us “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

This tells us that there is always a plan for everything that will happen in your life. There is a time for everything, and some things take patience, because now may not be the time, but do not worry because the time will come.

If the Lord is not answering your prayers do not worry. He hears you and He has far greater plans than you can ever imagine. Trust Him. Life will be so much easier if you come to understand that He is working on your behalf, that He only wants good things for you, and if you learn to trust Him, you will be more at peace. If you do this, it will make life so much easier and so much happier. You will become closer to Him and He will bring you many blessings.

There will be times in life when you will be impatient, you will feel like the world is against you and you will feel like you are not good enough. Do not listen to that negativity. The devil will try to bring you down and make you feel worthless. Do not listen.

You are a child of God and He loves you and only wants the best for you, but His work takes time. Trust Him and He will do great things.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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