This semester, I was supposed to have the trip of a lifetime. I was supposed to spend three amazing months on a ranch in New Mexico studying conservation biology and wildlife ecology. I was then supposed to spend the rest of the semester in South Africa. I was supposed to go on this trip with my college best friend, my other half.

Well, this didn’t actually happen.

About a week before finals last spring, I sat in my advisor’s office in tears after hearing every professor around me tell me I shouldn’t go, even though I had already been accepted to the program. I was denied the ability to study abroad on a trip I had set both my heart and mind on.

Although it was still months away, I had already started planning what I would pack and who I would bunk with. I had already started buying supplies and envisioning the most amazing experience that I was preparing to go on some few months later.

Well, fast forward to this week. My best friend just got home for thanksgiving break in between New Mexico and South Africa. I met her at the van and helped the whole group unpack. I talked to the professors who led the trip. I stood there watching the students unpack from their adventure that I couldn’t go on. I could feel myself holding back tears, holding myself back from running as far as I could away from those vans because it reminded me of the heart-breaking conversation I had last spring.

You may be asking: why can’t you just go next year or the next time it is offered? Well, here’s the catch: next time it is offered I will be a senior working on my thesis and unable to study abroad.

Although I may still be devastated that I missed out on this trip, I know I will have other opportunities to study away. I have started to think about other options for studying abroad, and am already fantasizing about other amazing places to travel. However, I keep reminding myself that right now I need to try to focus on the present and what I can do today to better prepare myself for tomorrow.

When I was thinking about how this semester turned out before sitting down to right this article, I realized that this semester has worked out to be pretty great. I was able to get back into dance classes and into the dance community that I grew up with and love dearly. The possibility of being competitive again is now an option, which truly brings a smile across my face.

Additionally, I was able to meet new people and create strong friendships. I was able to get more involved with my sorority and spend time with those people that I love. I was able to become closer to those that I have been distant with and strengthen bonds I may not have been able to strengthen had I gone abroad.

In general, this semester may not have gone according to plan; but it turned out to be pretty great in the end. I’ve learned that it is ok to feel sad and think about what could have been; but it is also important to try and focus on the now and what I have achieved this past semester.