Before I continue, suicide is never the answer. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to complain and talk about everything a million times so you do not have to carry the burden alone. And, if you are a friend or family member of someone, do not silence them. People speak up about their wanting to die in more ways than one, just be there. And watch what you say to people, never be the reason someone does not want to live anymore.
Stop. Stop saying that suicide is selfish. Someone not being around anymore was never and will never be about the friends, family, or environment. What is about the friends, family, and environment was the life they were living before they committed suicide. And now that they are gone, stop making it about you.
No one takes the time to get to know the kind of horrifying life one had to live to want to end their own life. Instead, they ask and say things like, "Why did they kill themselves?" "Why would they do that to their family?" "They will never get to see me graduate." "They will never be a part of my wedding." "They should have told someone." "Why didn't they tell anyone?" "I could have stopped them."
Suicide becomes the final solution when you are tired. Some people are thankful they have never gone through with it and others, sit with it every single day. That is not selfish. It is selfish to make someone get up every day and force them into a life they do not want. It is selfish to make someone do all that they do not want to do. It is selfish to think someone can be happy doing all that has made them sad. It is selfish to force someone into a life that they see no solution to.
The moment you start asking anything other than, "What pushed them?" "What did they have to live with?" "Did I ignore signs?" is the moment you become selfish. If you are not wondering about their mental stability, home life, school life, their friends, and family, you do not need to worry about anything else. People who commit suicide are never one hundred percent quiet about it. They talk about things that hurt them over and over again.
Your best friend that keeps talking about that boy or girl that hurt them, is trying to get it off their mind. But you keep quieting them. You keep telling them to just stop talking about it. The same boy or girl who has so much power over them that they do not want to live anymore. It is the same friend who complains to you about school work and disappointing their parents. You cannot understand so, in many ways, you quiet them. You tell them, "good vibes only" or ask them to stop complaining. The same child who comes to you with problems that you don't want to hear anymore, so you tell them to stop complaining.
"Stop complaining" often sounds like "I am tired of what you have to say." "You are bothering me with your problems." "I do not care about your problems." "It is not a big deal." Stop putting those who are trying to reach out for help the only way they know how to by silencing them.
No matter how good of a friend or person you were to someone, their suicide was never about you. It will never be about you. It will never be about your last Christmas with them, your future wedding that will now exclude them, or your graduation. It will never be the family member's they will never get to meet or watch grow up.
But what suicide is about is them. That is it. It is and will always be about what they went through before and what pushed them. They did not and should not have kept their mother or father in mind because that is not what it is about. When you are on the brink of tiresome and you cannot take any more, you are wanting out. The only thing selfish about that is when you make it about everything other than the reality of their horrifying life. Suicide is a one-way ticket out of a life you cannot handle anymore, stop ignoring the reality of that. Stop thinking that in the midst of wanting out that you can handle thinking about anything but yourself. It isn't selfish, it is human.