You Are Selfish To Think That Suicide Is Selfish

You Are Selfish To Think That Suicide Is Selfish

What none of us want to hear but need to.
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Before I continue, suicide is never the answer. Surround yourself with people who encourage you to complain and talk about everything a million times so you do not have to carry the burden alone. And, if you are a friend or family member of someone, do not silence them. People speak up about their wanting to die in more ways than one, just be there. And watch what you say to people, never be the reason someone does not want to live anymore.

Stop. Stop saying that suicide is selfish. Someone not being around anymore was never and will never be about the friends, family, or environment. What is about the friends, family, and environment was the life they were living before they committed suicide. And now that they are gone, stop making it about you.

No one takes the time to get to know the kind of horrifying life one had to live to want to end their own life. Instead, they ask and say things like, "Why did they kill themselves?" "Why would they do that to their family?" "They will never get to see me graduate." "They will never be a part of my wedding." "They should have told someone." "Why didn't they tell anyone?" "I could have stopped them."

Suicide becomes the final solution when you are tired. Some people are thankful they have never gone through with it and others, sit with it every single day. That is not selfish. It is selfish to make someone get up every day and force them into a life they do not want. It is selfish to make someone do all that they do not want to do. It is selfish to think someone can be happy doing all that has made them sad. It is selfish to force someone into a life that they see no solution to.

The moment you start asking anything other than, "What pushed them?" "What did they have to live with?" "Did I ignore signs?" is the moment you become selfish. If you are not wondering about their mental stability, home life, school life, their friends, and family, you do not need to worry about anything else. People who commit suicide are never one hundred percent quiet about it. They talk about things that hurt them over and over again.

Your best friend that keeps talking about that boy or girl that hurt them, is trying to get it off their mind. But you keep quieting them. You keep telling them to just stop talking about it. The same boy or girl who has so much power over them that they do not want to live anymore. It is the same friend who complains to you about school work and disappointing their parents. You cannot understand so, in many ways, you quiet them. You tell them, "good vibes only" or ask them to stop complaining. The same child who comes to you with problems that you don't want to hear anymore, so you tell them to stop complaining.

"Stop complaining" often sounds like "I am tired of what you have to say." "You are bothering me with your problems." "I do not care about your problems." "It is not a big deal." Stop putting those who are trying to reach out for help the only way they know how to by silencing them.

No matter how good of a friend or person you were to someone, their suicide was never about you. It will never be about you. It will never be about your last Christmas with them, your future wedding that will now exclude them, or your graduation. It will never be the family member's they will never get to meet or watch grow up.

But what suicide is about is them. That is it. It is and will always be about what they went through before and what pushed them. They did not and should not have kept their mother or father in mind because that is not what it is about. When you are on the brink of tiresome and you cannot take any more, you are wanting out. The only thing selfish about that is when you make it about everything other than the reality of their horrifying life. Suicide is a one-way ticket out of a life you cannot handle anymore, stop ignoring the reality of that. Stop thinking that in the midst of wanting out that you can handle thinking about anything but yourself. It isn't selfish, it is human.

Cover Image Credit: Tony Rojas

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If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

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Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

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Valentines day blues

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I have never enjoyed Valentine's Day.

Even if when I was in a relationship it was just an awkward day of "hey I love you, give me gifts and lets make out." But this year, I am just not feeling this thing at all. Since the relationship ended last June I have just been dreading the time when February came, because you know that on the 14th you are going to see all these love post and all us singles are like "welp this is just not my day.", and honestly you feel defeated. I personally asked other singles friends (like the three I have) if they wanted to come and watch Netflix with me and dread the day, but sadly they either had school or work. So here is my plan of getting though this day of love:

NETFLIX

Yes Netflix how else am I supposed to get through this day? Usually I have Greys Anatomy playing all the time but that has love in it, and I am not in the mood for that. My plan is to watch all the crime shows I can because watching TV crime series or documentary about serial killers just seems perfect for the 14th.

SLEEP

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Yes sleeping. I don't have anywhere I need to be why not catch up on some zzz's

CHOCOLATE

Yes I am going to eat my feelings with chocolate because why not? if I could I would get a giant slice of cake and live off that on the 14th but sadly I am stuck with the normal Heresy's chocolate and Reeses which will do their job.

CATS

me :)

This is my wonderful cat Kimber and she will be my partner in crime on the 14th. She will sleep, snuggle, cuddle, all day with me because I need that moral support of my fluffy cat.

BOOKS

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If I am able to fit reading a book into my schedule of everything listed above then reading will go into that open spot. I always loved reading but with school it is hard to find the time to read for enjoyment. so this day will be the perfect day.


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