Why My Selfish Desires Gets In The Way Of Reality

We all have our dreams. I dream to be a neonatal nurse. I dream of finding my true love. I dream of being married young. I have chosen the venue. I have picked out my whole wedding theme all the way down to what type of dress I want and what designers I want to wear. Then, I want to travel the world. After traveling the world, I want to settle down and have kids. Names already picked out. The kind of house I want my family to live in. The kind of cars I want to drive my family around. Picky to say the least. I know we don't get everything we want, but a girl can dream right? Especially when I know people all around me have the things that I want in life.

Over the fourth weekend, my whole family got together. Distant aunts, uncles, and relatives all in one place. Some of these people, I haven't seen in years and one particular uncle sparked my interest. I was excited to catch up. Ever since I could remember, I looked up to him. By the time I was born, he was practicing in family medicine. As I kept growing, his career and family expanded as well. Therefore, I wanted to see what I was missing out on. By the looks of it, he lives a lavish life. Moving halfway across the country, he built a career and a family all on his own. He has a stay-at-home wife, whom is a nurse and has two beautifully mixed daughters. He lives on an island and will be enrolling his incredible children in a nationally ranked school. He kept telling me more and more about his life and all I could think to myself is, "Why can't this happen to me?" As a nursing student, I have some struggles to get through before I can create my own empire.

My uncle insisted that medical school wasn't a walk in the park. He had to support himself through it by picking up multiple part time jobs and balancing that with the school curriculum. To me, he still made it look so easy. I am exceedingly jealous of his life because it's the perfect definition of what I want.

However, although I'm dreaming super big, I got to keep my feet firmly planted. That's my uncle's life not mine. We don't have the same experiences and same abilities. We are capable of different things. Sometimes it's just luck that we find a lover that's from the same workplace, that we have the same interests. It's luck to find an opportunity half way across the country. It could all be luck, but it also could depend on me, myself, and I. That's why I need to stay true to myself. I can't live up to someone's life by trying to be super picky about things to try to paint the perfect picture. No picture is perfect.

I'm dreaming big, but I need to remind myself that there's a reality. My reality. Life is what I make it. I'm not saying we can't have dreams or selfish desires, but we must live and enjoy the moments that we have. Everything else will follow.