“narcissistic”
“selfish”
“attention seeking”
These are several words that the world loves to apply to us millennials. With social media and a seemingly constant stream of validation, its easy to see why other generations can only view us through this one lense.
The biggest contention amongst generations is the selfie: the idea of someone taking a photo of themselves and then posting it somewhere seems to be the epitome of what’s wrong with us in their eyes (despite the fact that they secretly love selfies too). Many struggle to see the positive consequences of a selfie, and I, personally blame One Direction.
Yes, One Direction, the musical group/boy band/hearthrobs. More specifically, their lyrics. Let me backtrack a bit. Their song “What makes you beautiful” was my guilty pleasure for a probably-too-long period of time. I just couldn’t help but smile at their adorable lyrics, seemingly so wholesome and genuine. The right tune, the upbeat vibe; this song was perfect for screaming along with friends, dancing in my room or just jamming out in the car.
Then I started actually listening to the words they were saying, and I couldn’t help but get irked at one particular lyric:
“You don’t know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful”.
It bothered me for many reasons, but mostly I felt confused and put down: is my attractiveness measured by how little I pay attention to it?
Our parents, teachers, friends and the world in general tell us we should love ourselves. Personally, I spent many years of self-doubt, self-deprecation and listening to hurtful words from myself and others before I reached a place where I was happy with who I had become. So many people have similar stories, because self-love and confidence aren’t a gift: they’re a goal. Confidence is something to be worked towards and earned, and is a never-ending process.
I felt like One Direction was telling me that my years of struggling were unnecessary, because the only way I could be beautiful would be to be that self-deprecating person I was trying so hard to grow out of.
There’s this idealization of what I call the Broken Girl. The main character in many a teen novel, the Broken Girl doesn’t realize how truly amazing she is because she is Broken and sad, until a boy comes and heals her and makes her feel beautiful. One Direction thinks they are that boy, and they should cut it out. Besides my ideas about the Broken Girl romanticizing and warping depression, family issues and other things that young people have to face and fight against every day (a topic for another article, I promise), they are doing several other things that are harmful. One Direction is promoting this culture of breaking yourself to make yourself seem more desirable, and needing someone else to help you love yourself.
You don’t need someone else. I can promise you that you are worth loving, whether you know it or not. Everyone should feel like they deserve to love themselves, and the selfie helps.
This pressure to love yourself yet be humble, to make sure you know your value but that you never show it or tell anyone, is causing a weird and confusing paradox.
It feels nice to have people call you beautiful, and no one will ever deny that. Some days are better than others, and if you want to post a selfie because you just need to feel the love, then go for it: you’re worth it. If you’re feelin’ yourself today and you think you look awesome, you probably do and you should share that good energy.
If you just did something you’re proud of, whether it's baking cookies or climbing Mount Everest: you deserve to be proud! Post that selfie! Just because you know you’re beautiful doesn’t mean that its any less true, and don’t let One Direction or anyone else tell you other wise.
So go ahead, friends: find the right lighting, the perfect pose and clever caption because the selfie is changing the world, and you deserve to be a part of that.
