You CAN Be Loved By Someone Else, Even If You Don't Yet Love Yourself
Start writing a post

You CAN Be Loved By Someone Else, Even If You Don't Yet Love Yourself

Learning to love yourself isn't easy— it's a lifelong process.

You CAN Be Loved By Someone Else, Even If You Don't Yet Love Yourself
Valerie Elash

I don't agree with the people who say it's impossible to be loved by someone else until you first can say that you love yourself.

As someone who has struggled for years with major depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues, I can honestly say that, even with all of the counseling and treatment I've had thus far, I still haven't mastered self-love. And yet I am still in a healthy, caring— and definitely loving— romantic relationship with someone whose feelings for me aren't based on how I feel about myself.

I find it impossible to say that I will not be genuinely loved just because I haven't perfected my self-image.

I have been working to embrace my flaws and to believe in my talents for as long as I can remember. Every day is a new battle - every day has the possibility of testing my limits, of challenging me mentally and emotionally in ways I might not be prepared for.

Achieving self-love is an extremely difficult endeavor for a lot of young (and even older) adults. For some, this process is lifelong…so should these people not be able to settle down with the loves of their lives in the meantime?

Yes, we are all beautiful and unique and yes, we are all talented and have the potential for greatness in our lives. But knowing this and believing this are two very different things. I believe this some days and deny it to others, but I always know in the back of my mind that this is true. And on my "off" days, my girlfriend is more than willing to support me. She doesn't let my mental illness and my insecurities interfere with how she sees me as a person— and I'm learning slowly but surely to not do this to myself, either.

I commend people who've got a firm grasp on loving themselves already. Whether they've always been confident or went through the time it took to build up that sense of self-worth, they have achieved what so many people are still fighting for. But everyone completes this journey at their own pace, so I don't think it's fair to automatically assume that people with low self-esteem are unlovable. Some of us figure it out faster than others, but regardless of that, we are ALL worthy of being loved.

So no, I haven't mastered self-love yet. But that doesn't mean that my girlfriend can't overlook my struggles to see me as someone who is strong for fighting her demons every day. Anyone who just tells me to "be happy" clearly has no idea that happiness isn't always easy to come by. One day, I will love myself without question and without a single doubt…but until then, I am so grateful for my S.O.'s love and support.

Report this Content
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments