We all know how nerve-wracking, complicated, and emotional dating can be nowadays. In one moment, you're passionately daydreaming about the potential of your date becoming a serious boyfriend, finally confident about the transition you'll soon make from 'talking' to 'in a relationship'. Yet in the next moment, you've been 'ghosted' and you're left wondering where and when things went wrong.

I understand how complicated this moment can become. We start to wonder if we are to blame for their decision to spontaneously change their minds. Then we often criticize ourselves for being too naïve or too vulnerable in the first place. So, we reserve our emotions and safeguard our hearts by reiterating that we will not make the same 'mistake' of falling too fast again. On the contrary, there are people whose response to ghosting is to immediately accuse and criticize the other person for their 'selfish' decision, becoming angry and expressing bitter feelings towards that person.

Both of these reactions lead me to my next thought: Do you need to love yourself first before getting into a healthy relationship?

Out of curiosity, for diverse opinions, I began a poll on my Instagram inquiring if people believed in pursuing self-love prior to committing to relationships, or if it was possible to attain a healthy relationship even if you personally hadn't acquired self-love yet.

I'll be the first to admit that I do believe in the importance of discovering self-love before committing to a relationship. No, I do not mean you have to have it ALL together—because, in reality, we are never going to. I am implying that a foundation of self-love can ultimately cultivate a healthy and nurturing romantic relationship. As a matter of fact, I also believe that focusing on your personal growth will enable you to attract people who are equally as ambitious and devoted to developing themselves as you are.

Interestingly, 25% of the votes were those who believed it is possible to develop a healthy relationship without initially attaining self-love. I received insightful feedback from voters clarifying their opinions through the open-ended response I had also included, here is what I gathered: Their point of view typically stemmed from their personal experiences in relationships that initially began with internal self-doubt, but eventually blossomed into stronger self-love and confidence because of their loving, supportive, and devoted partner. Another notable perspective I was enlightened by was one that emphasized how naturally unstable love can be; she stated, "love is an emotion that does not have a limit or straight line". However, the perspective that impressed me the most was one I honestly hadn't even considered on my own. One bold woman delved into the fact that individuals with mental health illnesses are equally capable of being in a healthy, romantic relationship despite their internal struggles.

All in all, every response I received reminded me to keep an open mind when it comes to understanding other's unique needs or circumstances. Given each of these perspectives though, I believe I can rightfully conclude that no matter what stage you are in right now—confident and abundant with self-love or struggling to recognize your worth—your present circumstances will change. When they do, for better or worse, it is fundamental that you uphold standards for yourself.

You may not know what love is. But if you grasp an understanding of what love is not, you are likely more empowered to proclaim your self-worth and stand firm for what you value.