I Can't Love You Unless I Love Me First
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I Can't Love You Unless I Love Myself First

I am enough.

122
https://unsplash.com/photos/uHDbnG-Avpc
https://unsplash.com/photos/uHDbnG-Avpc

I've discovered in my own life, that somewhere along the line, early on

I had decided that being loved was more important, than being me.

Because being "me" wasn't worth loving.

But unfortunately, that doesn't go anywhere. Avoiding me and putting myself into a relationship, into friendships, or various activities won't be enough.

I'm not going to be able to give it my all and be me if I can't even wake up and look at myself in the mirror. I can't encourage others, and be a help if I'm I beat myself up all the time.

And to be honest, "loving myself," always seemed selfish. The phrase itself sounds selfish as if to say we're only loving ourselves. Others aren't as important, and we only need to love "us."

But that's not true.

At all.

As poet Rupi Kaur said,


"it was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and a body that have decided to be whole."

It's about realizing you are the way you are. Embrace it.

And you don't "need," someone else to tell you how to live your life or make you feel worthy. No marriage or relationship will be able to take away the insecurities all the way, and no job or activity will make you think more highly of yourself.

Ultimately it's about being healthy you so that you can be involved, and you can be YOU with someone else.

First, notice where you are being negative, and complaining. And then ask yourself all that you should be thankful for. All the good things that you've been given, that you have, or that have happened.

The second embrace being alone, realizing that being alone doesn't have to be lonely, it doesn't have to be sad or "awkward." And when you are spending time alone, pay attention to what you like, what you enjoy, and what you prefer.

Think about the people that maybe put you down, that are feeding the insecurities in you, or negatively influencing you, and realize you not only do not need that but maybe you don't even need to be that close to those people. And that's okay.

Lastly, set goals, maybe you're unhappy with your weight, your work ethic, your failed relationships, your insecurities, or your emotions. And set a goal for yourself so you have something to work towards, and something to look forward to.

And memorize this, "I am enough."

Who I am is enough.

What I do is enough.

And what I have is enough.

Once you learn to love yourself you're going to be breaking unhealthy cycles, and you'll notice that you can be a better friend or a better partner because of it.

Self-love isn't selfish, it's necessary.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Alexis Hoffman

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we all know that cutting out social interaction has taken its toll.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Asked Instagram How 2020 Was, And Maybe It Wasn't The Worst Year Ever

2020 is a year to remember but it's not as bad as we made it out to be.

9605

It's finally 2021 and we're honestly all just happy that 2020 is over. I decided to ask my Instagram followers how they felt about 2020 and the results were a little more mixed up than expected.

Keep Reading... Show less

Ever since I watched "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days," I've been a major Matthew McConaughey fan. I've seen most of his movies, and I definitely got way too excited when he finally made an Instagram! So when he announced he would be releasing a memoir titled "Greenlights," I knew I absolutely had to get my hands on this book. And so did the rest of the world, as the book began to flood social media.

Truthfully, I would much rather read a fiction book and dive into another world than read a nonfiction book - even if it is one of my favorite celebrities. But I had a feeling this book wouldn't disappoint or bore.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

The Armie Hammer Scandal Discourse Is Kink Shaming And Harming Actual Victims

The rumors surrounding Armie Hammer has resulted in some very toxic and harmful discourse.

649

Sex is something that occupies a very significant place in our lives. Even asexual people can have an active sex life. With the various types of people that comprise this world, it obviously results in various sexual interests. And unconventional people can engage in some pretty unconventional sex practices. Even the most conventional people on the surface might surprise us with their sexual fantasies.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

The Top 10 'Sex and the City' Episodes You Need To Revisit Before The New Series

In anticipation for the upcoming series, "And Just Like That," here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.

277
HBO

"Sex and the City" has become quite the franchise since its premiere in the late nineties. The series lasted six seasons and even produced two films. Fans of the show were anxiously awaiting a revival, even if their hopes seemed futile. Kim Cattrall, who plays Samantha Jones, recently spoke out saying she would not return to the show. Cattrall explained that she was never friends with her co-stars and even had a difficult relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker.

In the wake of Cattrall's revelation, rumors swirled the series would come back without her. On January 10, a new teaser was posted on social media for the new series, "And Just Like That." Now that a revival is officially confirmed, here are the ten "Sex and the City" episodes you need to revisit.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

My New Tattoo Reminds Me To Love Everyone With Intention—And Yes, That Includes Myself

I've realized that love has almost nothing to do with agreeing and almost everything to do with grace.

5642
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

I'm a big believer that everyone has a story.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lum3n

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments