Everyone says you must love yourself before you can love someone else. What I am discovering is the love that others show you, can help the process of loving yourself.

Ever since elementary school I have been self-conscious, whether it be about something like my weight, or something like my height or skin. But what I have realized is that these things do not define someone. THAT is what I have been learning to accept and what everyone else should aim to accept as well. The love that your mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, cousin, best friend, whomever it may be, has for you and expresses to you, aids in your own self-love. By seeing how much all of these people love you for who you are, you are shown that there are so many reasons to love yourself. Now as much as these people can make a huge difference in your life and your learning to gain self-love, you must take a few measures for yourself as well.

Now I am not saying that you need to be the girl who posts a new selfie every day, but I am saying that you should feel happy in your heart when you look in the mirror. You should WANT to look in the mirror instead of avoiding them at all costs. You should be HAPPY with the way you look because you are BEAUTIFUL. It is not about your skin, weight, height, or anything else you may not be physically pleased with, it is what you have to offer on the inside that is really what counts. And yes, that sounds incredibly cheesy, but it is the truth. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will start enjoying life fully and doors will be opened to new experiences and opportunities.

But believe me, those exciting opportunities will pass right on by if you do not gain that self confidence and self-love to put yourself out there. The sooner you realize that your not loving yourself could be the real reason that these opportunities are passing by, is the moment that opens so many doors to so many different possibilities.

The first step towards self-love: stop comparing yourself to others. Stop looking at celebrity’s posts on social media and saying “wow, I wish my waist was that small” or “I wish my butt was as big as theirs” or “I wish my skin looked as flawless as theirs does.” The moment that you accept yourself for who you are and stop trying to turn yourself into someone else is the moment that, that self-love will start to blossom. Trust me, this is a HUGE step. This is not an easy step to take, these models and celebrities, with what we see as “perfect bodies,” are everywhere around us. You flip on the television and chances are there are a few Kardashian butts in your face. Do NOT let this discourage you! I do not care how much you workout, chances are unless you go under the knife you will never get a butt like that. So the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will learn to love your own body and all of its twists and turns.

With all of that said, I want you to go look in the mirror. Look long and hard at your reflection, not just what is on the outside, but what is on the inside as well. See the beautiful person that you are and how much you have to offer. Finally, I want you to pick out just one thing about yourself that you find beautiful (I know there are than one but we’re taking baby steps here) and the next time you find yourself in a situation where you are wishing you looked like someone else, remind yourself of that one beautiful thing.

You are absolutely beautiful; you just need to believe it yourself.