A few months ago, I was struggling more than usual with my self-confidence and self-love. I was thinking more bad things about myself then good and it seemed like I was never good enough for myself. I am not a person that is bursting with self-confidence on a normal basis. I think in that way I am like most women. There will always be the voice in the back of your mind that is pointing out the little flaws, but it is what you do to fight back those thoughts that matters. A few months ago, I was not fighting back. I was letting that little voice consume me and change the view I had of myself entirely. I knew I was ready to make a change.
Honestly the hardest part was noticing how hard I have been on myself and seeing the cloud of hate I created around myself. It was like everywhere I went I felt like people were thinking the same thing the voice in my head was telling me. I had to notice that it was just me, not everyone else. I was creating the negative cloud around myself. Once I realized the hole I dug myself into with the constant self-loathing, I knew it was time to make a change.
This is what I did to change the way I felt about myself. This may not work for everyone. Self-loathing and self-drought is a scary thing that can lead to depression. If things do become too hard for you to bare please seek help.
First things first I posted about it! I am not one to share my problems on the internet, but I needed something to hold myself accountable. This could be different for everyone. Some people could write it down, while others could just tell someone important in their life. Whatever it takes to hold yourself to your word, while also stating the fact that there is a problem that you need to fix. After a few days of letting that sink in, I made a goal sheet. I wrote down ten things I hoped to do differently over the upcoming months.
- 1.Make a complement jar. So, every time I felt bad about myself I could pull a compliment out of the jar.
- 2.Think two nice thoughts for every negative thought I think
- 3.Be more organized
- 4.Smile more
- 5.Do yoga every day
- 6.Take better care of myself
- 7.Care less about what others think
- 8.Tell the people around me how much I care about them
- 9.Be kinder to myself and others
- 10.Laugh more
I started with the goals I considered easy. Which to me where the things that I could physically do. I cleaned and reorganized my room. I showered and did my hair and nails. I took in the feelings of how good it felt to be clean and organized. I wanted to remember the joy I felt so it pushed me to continue these behaviors, while taking better care of myself. That's when I started realizing that these were not one-time goals, but goals I would have to work on daily. But the feeling that I had accomplished two goals was such a confidence boost and lead me to striving to achieve more. The rest of the goals took time. I had to change the way I thought about myself everyday for months and other things years.
I sat down to make the complement jar and could only come up with a few things to put in it, so I decide I would go back to it. When I looked in the mirror and thought how I hated my nose I had to train myself to say two nice things. Over time I started just to say the nice things about myself and the negatives where just a memory. The more confidence I felt the more I discovered myself smiling and laughing. I was less worried about what other people thought and just focused on enjoying myself. Everything was a chain reaction. It took months, but I slowly was able to change my over all persona of myself.
This was such an amazing and life changing experience for me. I hope this story of my self confidence journey inspires other women to make the change in their life to be the best version of themselves and feel that self love they deserve.
