I'm not gonna lie, times have been tough for me lately. I have gone through a lot this semester, and it has only seemed to pile up as time went on. This was by far my most difficult semester, but on top of that life has been rough. My mental health has gone up and down, I have been stretched thin at times, and at other times I have had so much free time I didn't even know how to act, so I wasted it. Here lately, it seems like nothing is ever enough.
I always have something I need to do, something I forgot about, or just overall feel uneasy. I started slacking on my school work, which most certainly contributed to my struggle this semester. I haven't kept my house nearly as clean as I would have liked to. I didn't do laundry unless I absolutely had to. Everything just felt inadequate. I never did anything as well as I know I could have, and I didn't even notice how bad it had gotten until it was almost too late.
This entire semester, I have hardly focused on what I need. I pushed my wants and needs to the side and allowed other people to control most of what I did and when I did it, and rarely did anything without considering others and what they may need or might want first. In coming home for Christmas, I have stopped allowing my people at school control my life, and I have taken it into my own hands. Since doing this, I have begun to remember what it feels like to be happy. I have noticed a change in the way I walk, the way I talk, the way I feel when I wake up in the morning. I see everything in a new light.
Now that I am focusing on myself and my own plan for life, I can see more clearly that when you give others the power to control you, you will almost always be exploited and degraded. No one good for you will try to manipulate you into doing only what they want to do. True friends and partners will always want what is best for you and in order to ensure that they should be asking what you want, and making sure that there is equal opportunity for the both of you to enjoy life and the relationship you have, be that what it may.
If you've gotten this far, which I hope you all have, you probably relate to the situation I am presenting here. If so, I want to remind you that you are amazing, your life has so much purpose and worth. Please take a step back and remember to focus on what you need and want out of your life. Make sure you are fulfilling yourself before you are catering to someone else. You should always be a priority.
