You finally meet an ideal significant other. You can’t help but question how’d you get so lucky or where they have been your entire life. Everything in your life probably sucked, but then you met them and everything seemed so great. For once you’ve understood what every sappy love song sang about and why movie characters did the unthinkable for their lovers. This person meant the world and more. Just the thought of them made your body quiver and brought a smile across your face.
Fast forward some time. Maybe it’s been months or even years. Maybe everything didn’t seem as great as when it first started. A side of them which you’ve never seen befor, and I’m sure they’d say the same about you. Complications and confusion occur, and for whatever reasons you may have decided to part ways.
No one has ever broken up with anyone because the relationship was healthy and happy. A break up after a toxic relationship is like getting a fresh breath of air after sitting in a burning house. The fumes were clogging your airways. But at last you’ve escaped and sweet freshness is filling your lungs. Your relationship was a burning house. You could have stayed inside and done your best to stop the fire from destroying everything you’ve ever worked for (and risking the possibility of destroying yourself) or you could have chosen to save yourself and leave everything behind. Take another deep breath and be proud for choosing to save yourself.
Someone once told me it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to get over it. So when the timer went off at that point and I still found myself missing what I once had, I began to hate myself. It’s easy to say you’re going to get over someone easily, but we all recover differently. Each of our bodies heal from an illness or a broken bone differently and the same goes for our hearts. You have the right to feel hurt and broken for as long as you need. It’s important to address your feelings and understand why they are there. Rushing your recovery has never been an ideal decision for shattered wrist, so why do we think it’s okay to do so with our shattered hearts?
One of the best things to have ever happened to me was getting my heart broken. As ridiculous as that may have just sounded, I will always stand by that. Don’t get me wrong, there was a point after my breakup where I would go for a jog at the park and breakdown crying or patiently wait every Friday and Saturday night for a drunk text telling me I’ve been missed (okay, maybe not patiently, rather impulsively waking up every hour of the night to check my phone). But I finally decided one day that I could spend my life loathing away or pick up the pieces and move on.
My seventh grade teacher once said, “What goes up must come down.” She was referring to our economy, but I’ve always use it in reference to life in general. See, as soon as you wake up one day and don’t think about your ex, and you’re able to go to bed without a weary heart, you’ll see the world from a new perspective. The time after a break up is perfect timing to find yourself. And whether that’s by picking up a new hobby or seeking contentment in a rebound, the limitations are truly endless.
Keeping yourself preoccupied creates new possibilities for yourself. It’s easy to dwell over the past and what you once had because it’s so familiar. But you shouldn’t be afraid of the future. You are capable of doing whatever you want to do. You don’t need a significant other holding your hand as you tackle your next accomplishment.
