After a year of waiting, the fall season has finally arrived again. Pumpkin spice everything is popping up in every corner, and soon enough houses will begin to look a little more orange, black, and purple. All over the world, people relish in the beautiful foliage, but us poor Floridians are stuck with the green leaves. We have been ousted from the club that greets fall with open arms and allows for the colors to engulf nature. As a fall deprived Floridian I wish to start this beautiful season with some Halloween jokes and puns. Even though i can't see fall, at least I will be able to hear it. Please enjoy!
1. I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count."I don't care that he loves Dracula! I just want to know who's winning.
2. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone Appetite!
3. What do ghosts serve for dessert at dinner parties?
Ice Scream!
4. What happened to the ghost after he fell?
He got a boo boo!
5. How did the pumpkin fix his ripped pants?
With a pumpkin patch!
6. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Because he was coffin!
7. Where did the vampire open his savings account?
At a blood bank!
8. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!
9. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers!
10. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein!
11. What's the first thing a ghost does when they get in the car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts!
12. What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!
13. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
Steak!
14. What is a skeleton's favorite meal?
Spare Ribs!
15. A vampire, a ghost, a witch, a jack-o-lantern, a zombie, and a head in a jar meet up for their third therapy session. Once again, the doctor asks them what's wrong.
The vampire replies, "My love life bites!"
The ghost whispers, "I'm not the man I used to be."
The witch cackles, "I curse everything."
The jack-o-lantern says, "I feel empty inside."
The zombie cries, "I haven't felt alive in years."
The head in the jar replies, "I feel disconnected."
16. What type of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music!
17. What would you find at a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
18. What's worse than being an overweight witch?
Being her broom!
19. Why couldn't the ghost see its parents?
Because they were trans-parent!
20. Which monster won the dance contest?
The Boogie Monster!
21. Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Because they have bat breath!
22. Why are vampires so easy to trick?
Because they are suckers!
MUAHAHAHAHA! Happy Fall!
