See Me, She Says To Herself

'See Me,' She Says To Herself

Body image when it comes to fashion, sizing, and the flattering clothes we wear

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Lately, I have been getting really into fashion. And why not? It's fun and fancy and what wannabe city girl doesn't love that?! As with anything, as you learn and grow, you get better, and you start to get creative with it. Over time I have developed my own opinions toward fashion. Most of them are pretty positive, but some are serious concerns regarding the world of fashion and mainstream media influence on a persons body image. So, here ya go world!

A few thoughts on fashion, by yours truly.


Fashion is a woman's world.

Sorry guys. Not to say that men's fashion is nonexistent, cause it's not. However, you walk into pretty much any clothing store, and the women's section is double the size of the men. This makes me feel happy, cause, as a woman, I feel like the sky is the limit with fashion. I used to walk into H&M; or Forever21 and get so intimidated cause there was just so much. Now, I walk in and could stay for hours, trying different patterns and testing fashion theories in the dressing room!

Having so many options doesn't need to be an overwhelming reality. It means that there are plenty of clothes that WILL look good on you, me and my mother. There are clothes for your body type, don't worry.


You're not ugly, but your clothes need resizing...

Ladies, why why-why do you START with shaming your bodies before you shame the clothes you're wearing? Girl, you are NOT ugly. To bash your body is to bash God's creation. To say you are made by mistake is to say God made a mistake, and I doubt you want to be the one to call God out on his design skills. You are not a mistake, and your body is not ugly. Here's where I believe we, as women, get it wrong. **Whispers** we wear the wrong size. Speaking from experience, I feel reeeaall ugly when I wear the wrong size clothes. Instead of realizing that my clothes are the problem, I go ahead and think my body is the problem. And why should I think otherwise, when every voice in this world shouts just that. This is where my concern comes in, but that's the next statement.

I also believe that women think they look ugly when they wear patterns that don't match or clothes that are not flattering. I see this a lot during the summer. I know I know, girl's want to show what they got in the sun, HOWEVER, there is something wrong when a girl with a DD chest wears a white, see-through crop top shirt that a flat chested girl is supposed to be wearing. Wear clothes that fit and flatter! If that means that you walk into store after store and have them measure and fit you, then that's what you should do. Learn about your body in order to better accommodate and flatter it. You will start to realize your own beauty.


Media got it all wrong.

Pretty much any supermodel can tell you that modeling is a hard business. Putting your body out there for the public to see and criticize is not for the faint of heart. I once watched a documentary on how girls train to become Victoria Secret models, and it broke my heart and opened my eyes. These girls feel a NEED to beat their bodies and eat only as much as a mouse to be recognized. When a designer, a company or a social media platform say to anyone that they need to change their BODIES to fit into the clothes, I tilt my head sideways and give em my "what the what are you talking about..." face. You know why?? Because there is absolutely no need to wreck the human heart to fit into a piece of fabric when you can simply change the fabric. Sowing machines exist for a reason. Why change the person when you can re-sow the clothes? It's not like the clothes got feelings, but that person sure does. We should be taking into more consideration the effects of criticizing someone's body, vs just fitting the clothes around the model.


Going along with my statement above, a person will always look great in clothes that fit and flatter them. Designers can do a little more work, it won't kill them, this is their job anyway.

So there is it. A couple of my first thoughts into fashion. In the future, I might have some words on patterns and color schemes, but for now, that one will just be tucked away.

Be kind to one another,

Victoria Ramsdell

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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'Sissy, Why is That Boy Wearing Makeup?'

June is time to celebrate equality.

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This past weekend, I went to the mall with my family. It was just a normal family excursion, and I wanted to walk into Sephora to show my mom a perfume I liked. We go inside, and my mother and I drift away from my dad and 6 year old sister, Sierra. I showed her the perfume I thought smelled amazing (Roses de Chloé) and we look for my sister and father to exit the store. As soon as we leave, my little sister grabs my hand and asks, "Sissy, why is that boy wearing makeup?"

This was the first time my little sister has ever asked about anything like this, and I wanted to make sure I gave her an answer. I turned to her and said, "Sierra, sometimes there are boys who wear makeup, and girls who may dress like boys. People are allowed to wear what they want, it doesn't matter." Sierra looks up at me, says, "Oh okay," and that was the end of it.

Sharing this experience to say, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!

So thankful to live in a country where all sexual orientations get a day to celebrate their love. That's what this world needs more of-- love. It shouldn't matter who it is, where they are from, the color on their skin, or their gender identity.

When Sierra was born, I always wondered when this conversation would come up. I wondered what I would say, how she would react to it, and how she would be exposed to it. Like I consistently preach, everything happens for a reason, and I'm glad Sierra was able to get exposure and receive an immediate answer. Love is love, and I will forever stand by that.

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