I had known Corey for the better part of three hours before he told me he tried to kill himself last week. You wouldn’t have thought that would’ve been the outcome of a drunken heart-to-heart after sharing laughs, stories and jokes on Pearl Street, but that is usually how these things come up. His statement was followed up by empathy and an acknowledgement that others have considered it, too. These were some of my good friends who have always had a smile on their face and who have always been quick to pick me up when something gets me down. I was immediately surprised, but should I have been?
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, someone in the United States commits suicide every 12.8 minutes. This is a nameless and faceless fact, but in that staggering statistic, there are sons, brothers, daughters, sisters and best friends. Suicide has shaken and impacted most everyone’s lives. It takes away a smile that could light up a room and replaces it not with darkness, but with gray. A gray area where discussions become taboo and you are left searching for answers. The biggest breakthrough in suicide prevention will not be medication. It will be opening up the discussion into the light to the point where people are comfortable discussing their problems instead of fighting a phantom pain.
I had no clue Corey was dealing with these things immediately. In an ideal situation, he would’ve discussed his problems with a professional or with a good friend who was willing to lend an ear and hear him out. In fact, most colleges across the country offer a service right on campus to help students who are dealing with depression, and a lot of college students do. Once you add in the stress of finals, making new friends, being away from family and all the other pressures that get to you, college can be as frightening as it is exciting. A survey conducted by the American College Health Association–National College Health Assessment found that nearly 30 percent of college students at one point during the previous year (2011) felt so depressed that they were unable to function.
What I took away from this evening as the sky slowly turned from dark to light and swallowed up the evening stars, was a powerful reminder of a simple quote I read years ago while scouring the Internet.
“Be kind to everyone you meet because you never know what battle they are fighting.”
We are all human. At our very core is the desire for connection, acceptance, love and understanding. Feeling like you’re worthless is a feeling that everyone experiences, from the popular kid to the band geek and right down to that acquaintance who opened up to me on a Friday evening. It is all right to feel this way and it’s more than all right to talk to someone about it, and remember, saying “hello” to a passing stranger or shooting a smile in their direction just might be the boost they need to make it through their day. In a dark world, be the light.
*Names have been altered in this story to protect their privacy.
