"So you just swipe right if you think they're cute and have a funny bio?" These were my initial thoughts as my best friend created a Tinder for me (something I yelled at her for doing at first). Within the past month, I have come across some interesting, disturbing, and hilarious biographies within the area of Seattle and Bellingham.
I can guess what some people are thinking: "Why on earth would you download a dating app that is based solemnly on 1-5 pictures?" Well, to be completely honest, I thought the exact same thing. But after messing around with it for a month, I found it more entertaining than anything! I decided to keep this app to find the most interesting people who have decided to share their puns, quotes or intriguing personality traits through their profile.
I hope these next 20 partial bios will make you smile or cringe as much I did.
1. The man who will make all your dreams appear:
"Are you a magician? Because abraca-DAMN girl."
2. Swipe-Right Steven:
3. The dad bod and proud man:
"I'm everything you dreamt of, but with a belly."
4. The clever Costco shopper:
"Let's be real, Tinder is like going through Costco, taking free samples, and finally finding something you like."
5. The man who will write a symphony for you:
"Looking for women who will break my heart so I can make more music."
6. The 'punniest' man on Tinder:
"Science recently discovered that enduring one bad pun extends your life by 3 hours. Stick with me, and you'll live forever."
7. The one who knows it all goes downhill after 18:
"I peaked in high school."
8. Never super-like and save yourself from a stolen TV:
"Homeless and looking to move in with you on the first date."
9. Swipe right so your best friend doesn't have to:
"Girls, the sooner one of you bites the bullet and becomes my girlfriend, the sooner I'll leave the rest of you alone... Take one for the team. "
10. The bad boy who even supplies the perfect lighting:
"My perfect date: I pick you up in my blue Dodge Dart. You get in. Candles are lit. You go "Isn't this dangerous?" And I go "Yes, but I like dangerous."
11. The one who knows he is more photogenic than you (sorry to say):
"That's not my baby. I just thought I looked good in that photo."
12. The 5/10 man:
"I like to think of myself as a 10 in progress."
13. The guy who you will overeat with on the first date:
"I tell people I watch Netflix with the subtitles on to better understand the dialogues but in reality, I can't hear the movie over the food I'm eating."
14. A class act with high standards:
"Wine, cocaine, and caviar."
15. The guy who will go shot for shot with you:
"I just wanna find someone who can consume as much alcohol as me."
16. I'm pretty sure he is a fictional being:
"Godzilla in the streets, King Kong in the sheets."
17. The one who makes you feel bad for not having your sh*t together:
"I don't just have my ducks in a row, they march single file and quack on queue."
18. Swipe left or you might as well message yourself:
"I hate the outdoors, and talking, and dating... So why am I on here?"
19. You'll be glad you super liked this guy:
"I'm a business owner. I may be ugly but I'll have lots of money some day. Take advantage of that."
20. For goodness sake, swipe right so he has someone to talk to:
"The only thing lower than my standards is my self-esteem."
I would like to thank all of the men who are on Tinder that supported this article.