Seasons Of Friendship - Part 1

What is the definition of friendship? The definition of friendship is a persons most dearest and closest friend imaginable. Well, at least that's what the dictionary says. When I was a kid, I honestly thought the majority of my friends were my best friends and I thought they would be my friends forever. I mean why wouldn't I? I'd see them at school, church, or practice and I could never imagine them hurting me. Besides, when you're a kid and if you were anything like me as a kid, you're probably fairly innocent and haven't been hurt. The funny thing is, as time goes on and you get older, your friend groups change. People change.

I have a vivid memory of my last night before I left for college and flew across the country. It was about 3am and I was frantically packing up last minute items to bring with me to California and I didn't know what to do. I had started to tear up because it had finally hit me that I was leaving. Before I knew it my best friend knocked on the screen door with her boyfriend, who's also my good friend, to say one final goodbye. This is a friend i've been consistently close to since high school and someone who as seen me at my best and worst. This is also when the tears started to flow because I had never moved before. This was one of those sappy movie moments when you hug each other and remind each other that you'll be friends forever and nothing will ever change. But little did we know what our friendship had in store.

I remember my first summer home from college, and I had just surprised my best friend. I hadn't been home in a year and so the most interaction we had was a few FaceTime calls here and there and frequent texts. We both had busy schedules and there was a three hour time change against us but we were still in communication nonstop. I remember after hanging out with her for a bit, she came up to me and said, “Gabby, you've changed.. Like a lot.” I totally insisted that I hadn't and that I was completely the same. But as time went on, (and I mean like two years later), I started to realize that I had changed. I had become someone slightly different than who she had always known. In a sense, I've grown to be more independent, opinionated, and more vocal about what I believe in. It was definitely weird to realize that I was evolving into someone else. However, at the same time I wasn't surprised. I was almost three thousand miles away from home with complete, and I mean completely different friends then I had back home. Over time, this particular best friend and I’s friendship shifted. (For the record, I don't believe in the fact that you can only have one best friend, so I have l few). It didn't necessarily shift in a bad way but it was definitely different. We both joined different sororities and got more involved in different things so naturally, things were just different and difficult to stay connected. It was different when I'd go home to see her. It was really different. Over time, our few FaceTime calls turned into no FaceTime calls, and the texts just turned into one worded conversations that would only last a few messages... and it made me sad. I knew that it would be tough to stay friends with people long distance but I knew that I wanted to and it wasn't happening. My visits home became less frequent as time went on. Before I knew it, it was mid-way though junior year and we didn't speak. Like at all. Then the holidays came around and we didn't talk at all. Over the course of a few months we had a lot of miscommunication and we just weren't talking anymore. In all honesty, we weren't friends at all. She was hurt and so was I about many things that had happened along the way. We both came to the conclusion that it was a in-person conversation that needed to happen, so we waited until I was able to come home last summer. Of course it ended up with tears and more hugs and everything ended up okay and we’re better than ever.

In all honesty, we have these expectations of friendships whether it's good expectations or bad. But overtime, we have to realize that things change, people change, and all situations can change. Sometimes we grow together or apart but what's most important is throughout these changes and growth, is that you find the people who are worth the fight and will stick by you.