Imagine if every time the seasons got cold, you feel as if you stopped breathing and living. You search long and hard for an explanation that you just can’t find. You spend your nights staying up, wondering why you feel as if you’re losing your mind out of nowhere. Your body becomes numb and despondent and you have a lack of energy for anything that requires motivation or movement. All you want to do is lay in bed and forget about the outside world as the sky is grey and the cold stings your skin.

You start to cover up your body with more layers and warmer clothes, which is just a reminder of how you are not beautiful enough to express yourself with open tops or curve defining outfits. It is scary to allow yourself to feel the cold- literally and figuratively. It is scary to accept the fact that your head is in a constant haze and it’s no one else’s experience but your own. However, finding your own strength and guidance is what is truly going to remedy your seasonal despair. Knowing trigger warnings can help to prevent such a deep and dark blackhole the next year. Some trigger warnings may be the change in air temperature, the darker skies, the longer nights and shorter days, and the beginning of the school year.

While it is possible for Seasonal Affective Disorder to vary on the degree of it, it’s also important to keep in mind that SAD never truly goes away. It is always going to be pulling at your hair asking you to pay attention. SAD It sucks all of your energy out and, before it does so, make sure you have your safety kit prepared. A safety kit could literally be a set of skills to help you cope and also objects to keep you grounded. For me, I know that working out is the one thing that helps me keep a clear mind so I try to do that as often as possible. I also am able to determine when and how to push out an intrusive thought so that it doesn’t cripple me. However, grounding objects are very useful in remembering the truth when SAD kicks into full throttle.

For me, I like to keep a Christmas card that features the boys I used to babysit for, I keep ticket stubs, I keep notes from people, and I keep photographs of heartwarming memories. These all help me to prevent myself from getting worked up and too worried about the future or the past. I often find it hard to be present when the present is so boring and slow-paced; however, I need to take every day, day by day. I need to not jump to conclusions about the future and I need to let go of whatever I have held onto from the past. This should be a season of changing and growing in a healthy manner. I have started a new ritual where I ask myself every night if I was the best me that I could be.

I am not ruled by the negative energies of the Earth. I remain closely connected to those positive energies that encourage me to be a better person, as well as encourage me to love myself before anything else. Since SAD is tied to low light levels in the winter time, it is easy to be pulled into the dark and gloomy energies that this Earth provides.

But, if instead, you were to supplement low light levels causing low serotonin levels with Vitamin D supplements or routine workouts, the low light levels wouldn’t be as magnetic to you. SAD leaves me feeling sad and numb to those around me as well as things that used to bring me happiness in my own life. I start to care less about my mistakes and my friendships. I try hard not to isolate myself from others because I am a naturally social person, but it drains all of my energy since my thoughts require so much to keep fueling itself.

Often, Seasonal Depression Disorder is overlooked because there are a lot of confounding events that are anxiety-provoking. School or work picks up to be the main part of an individual's daily life and can be extremely demanding if your energy levels are already lower than usual. However, it is important to love yourself enough to know what you need in the moments that you start to feel low. You are worth giving all of the love that you give out to others to yourself.

You’re worthy of your suffering and you must find meaning in it. It is possible to come out stronger than you could ever know because your inner strength is deeper than you could ever see. Don’t ever doubt yourself or what you’re feeling. So, grab a hot cocoa and a good book and take a moment for yourself for once. It’s okay to not know why you feel the way that you do. This is a chance to explore yourself deeper than you ever have which is one of life’s greatest gifts.

You are loved because you ARE love.