“Do you have a boyfriend?”
Often softened with an “I know you do” type of smirk, this is probably one of the most common questions for me to be asked – by Millennials, senior citizens, and eight-year-olds alike. I can't blame them for their curiosity. After all, it seems that every time I open my news feed, I see more heart icons indicating a changed relationship status, sparkly engagement rings, and wedding photos than ever before. Ladies in my demographic are starting to settle down faster than any of us can guess.
I worked at a summer camp for a little over a month. Each week brought a new set of campers, and with each fresh group came new accusations about which male staff member most definitely was in love with me. Backed by solid, fact-based observations like “he smiled at you” or “he looked at you twelve times during fireside, we were counting,” it was sometimes difficult to gently crush their hopes. The sheer disappointment when I pulled up a picture of Jesus after offering to show them what my boyfriend looks like got funnier and funnier every time. I would use their disappointment as an opportunity to express something serious to them:
“God is calling me to be single right now.”
This statement, and the peace with which I spoke it, is so contrary to the world's view of girls my age and dating that they never really knew how to react.
I'm not, by any means, bashing on any girl my age that is dating, married, or anywhere in between. I'm only trying to uplift those with a similar calling to mine at present.
I'm not searching for love, because love Himself dwells in me.
See, God and I have some work to do on who I am in Him before I start to even think about a life partner. Whoever this dude is, I don't know him right now. Or, I do know him right now, and right now is not the time.
Either way...
I'm not worried about who he is, because he is not at my side right now, which means that “I've still got mountains to climb on my own,” in the words of Switchfoot. Sure, it'd be amazing to have someone to pursue God with on the daily. But Paul makes it abundantly clear that this is a want and not a need. In fact, he states that he wishes that everyone could be like him, with no desire for romance at all. I can't say that I'm like Paul. That would be a lie. I do want that relationship, somewhere deep in my heart. However, I don't want it more than I want my relationship with God. When it comes to romance, I will not settle for anything less than what that relationship is meant to be – a pursuit of God together foremost, then of each other.
Don't get me wrong, I've recently been pursued by a guy or two, but they sold so short of what I know God wants for me that I pretty much had no choice but to turn them down.
I also am not “waiting” for my life partner, as so many girls are told to do. I only wait for God. Because I will happily settle for what God wants, but will never settle for anything less.
I cannot love, or be loved, in a way that reflects Christ's perfect love unless that perfect love is the foundation for both parties.
If I pursue someone without first pursuing Christ, that person becomes an idol. So if I have to choose between God and man, I choose God, without hesitation. A thousand times I would choose God.
I would rather walk in the light of Christ on my own than walk in the darkness of the world with someone else.
It's obvious to me that, since all of the offers I've been getting are the latter, my choice is the former. God is calling me to be single and I am beyond content with that.
I am joyful.
God wants my whole heart, so I've placed my whole heart in his hands, and anyone that wants it has to get through my Dad first.
