Society has come up with a lot of absurd notions. We have implemented ridiculous social constructions that date back to when white people started messing up the world. Growing up as a young girl obsessed magazines like People, Seventeen and Cosmopolitan, I was blasted with headlines like, "How Many Dates Before It's OK To Sleep With Someone?" and "How Many Partners Are Too Many Partners?" Hollywood drilled more of these numbers into our heads by portraying actresses who are reluctant to call first and do not want to sleep with someone because that would be their third sexual partner in a year and do not want to be deemed as a slut.
Think back to the last time you hit it off with someone. Did you wait three days to call them? Did you pretend like you were busy for a few hours before texting the back?
Think back to the last time you wanted to sleep with someone. In your decision-making process, did you consider the number of partners you have and if society would think it was too many or maybe too little?
These arbitrary numbers lack one very crucial piece of information. They don’t mean shit.
Far too often, we take these societal norms way too seriously. I don’t think I will ever understand how we view having two past sexual partners as normal and having four partners makes you a slut. When we place such high values on these numbers, we forget that everyone is an individual. For some people, waiting until marriage is what is healthiest for them. For others, sleeping with a dozen people is what is best for their sex life. Regardless of which category you fall into, stay safe.
It's ridiculous that we put numbers on relationships instead of allowing people to reflect on what is healthy for them. Far too often, I catch myself playing silly games that society has set into place. It is absurd that we expect people to act like mature adults when it comes to relationships but then we judge each other on arbitrary numbers that were probably developed by middle school girls that somehow stuck with us through out the ages. Quite frankly, it's stupid.
The next time that you consider how many months you have been together before you introduce your partner to your family, or how many dates you’ve been on before you say "I love you," remember that many of these rules were put into place for no apparent reason. Reflect on your relationship and what is healthy for you, regardless of these numbers that we have tailing behind us.
Ignore these dumb rules and to do what is healthy for you.
