I love my hometown. Especially the ice cream — I mean, can you really go wrong with a locally luscious, cream-based flavor-gasm? (The answer is no.)
After being away at school for a year, coming home to my little frozen corner brought immediate joy to my heart (and thankfully, my wallet). Except, it’s been almost two weeks and I think I’ve gained two pounds.
As I began the battle with my hot weather-induced addiction, here are seven things that fellow scoopers everywhere will devour our days during these wonderful shifts.
And to every other reader: STOP. Go grab some ice cream and enjoy a good laugh in between licks of your favorite flavor. You deserve it.
1. Gainz (kinda).
Large buckets of ice cream are good at staying consistently frozen, which means, they are practically solid. But we keep scooping, a dominant arm emerging. And, well, a few more weeks back behind the counter before, woah, check out my bicep (yeah, not plural).
2. Cup or Cone?
I know, I know. We bombarded you with 18 flavor options, combinations, and maybe some toppings. Now what? A cup or a cone? YIKES...decisions! Waffle, sugar, or wafer? Forgetaboutit.
3. “Have you tried all the flavors?”
Please. The shop is empty, and our hand grabs a taster spoon to really make sure we don’t like Mandarin Chocolate. For the third time.
4. “Are you keeping track of everyone’s order?”
Yes, I am keeping count. We scoop ice cream. Trust us when we say the hardest part of our job is adding up two single scoops, 5 baby scoops, 1 large milkshake, and a hot fudge sundae in our head. That’ll be $33 for you folks.
5. The Infamous Mystery Flavors.
"What the heck is a praline?" "Turtle? "Galaxy?" "Um, Koffee with a K?" ... Don't worry. We've got your back
6. Your Intolerance.
So you are gluten free? Done. No Cookie Dough. Wafer cone or dish only. You have a nut allergy? No Butter Pecan. Probably stick to the cup. We’ll disinfect the scooper. You are dairy-free? Yes, we do have a sorbet. However, our aesthetic is lactose. But your self-control is truly inspiring.
7. FREE.
As a college student, this word draws us in like dads to cringy jokes, it’s practically irresistible. So when our boss promises a paycheck and unlimited access, we enter a dangerous game. Breakfast? Banana-Strawberry milkshake. Lunch? Double scoop Pistachio Almond in a waffle cone. Dinner? Salted Caramel in a dish, and a cherry on top for good measure.
