My Scoliosis Made Me Self Conscious, But I Learned To Overcome It
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Health and Wellness

My Scoliosis Made Me Ashamed Of My Body, But I've Learned To Love And Appreciate It

My flaws are still beautiful.

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My Scoliosis Made Me Ashamed Of My Body, But I've Learned To Love And Appreciate It

Remember in elementary school, when everyone would line up, lean over, and have their backs checked for any sign of a twist in their spine? I was one of the very small percentages of kids who actually had to seek further treatment. Being so young, I thought nothing of it. I didn't even fully understand what it was, if I'm being honest with myself. I just remember going to the spine doctor, getting plastered for a back-brace, and then that was it.

I also remember spending endless nights sleepless because the back-brace was so uncomfortable.

It was created to prevent my back from growing further in the wrong direction, but boy, was it tight. There was no possible way for me to sleep on my side, no matter how hard I tried. Once I finished puberty, the back-brace had no purpose anymore and was discarded, a very pleasant moment in this journey.

Besides the back-brace, scoliosis really hasn't had much of an impact on my everyday life. There's no pain, I don't really notice it much anymore. Until I look in the mirror. Believe it or not, scoliosis drastically shows up in my own appearance even though other people "don't notice it." Every time I turn to my left side, I see a giant hump on my upper back. A K-Mart version of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," if you will.

Every time I show someone this insecurity of mine, they act like they genuinely don't see anything wrong. This is all just a show, in my eyes, since I notice it every-time I look at it. Any time I put on a bikini, I hated looking at myself on that particular side, because it wasn't perfect. And it won't ever be perfect, my body will look like this forever.

You can't change it, learn to love it.

And that was the realization I had to come to. I was going to be in this body for the rest of my existence in this life, so I might as well take my imperfections, and make them into something that makes me unique. Now, every-time I meet someone, I show them my uneven spine because it's "cool" to see. Other people don't seem to take any notice to it, so I shouldn't either and it definitely took a few years to understand this. I should be glad it hadn't developed into anything worse, and my parents got me treatment while they still can. Otherwise, it could've been detrimental to my health and not just my appearance in the mirror.

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