It may have been somebody you had a crush on or someone who led you on before you learned that they were already talking to somebody else. Or it may have been someone you had a deep relationship with for months or possibly even years. Whoever it was, they hurt you, and nobody enjoys being left hurt.

You can’t control broken-heartedness; it’s a feeling that can’t simply be brushed aside or diminished of with a simple decision to move on. It takes time, and it takes healing, both of which are things that cannot be rushed. Even then, while your feelings for the person and the pain itself will eventually fade away, the memories of that pain will stay with you forever.

You’ll hear a song and remember how that was the song you used to listen to when you were missing them, or you’ll watch your friends get left behind and hurt and it’ll remind you of what you felt like when you were in their shoes. Fortunately, a song ends and your friends will learn to heal just as you did. These things end and so the memory of the pain comes and goes easily, without any conflict, because after all, it is that, just a memory.

However, what happens when someone new comes into your life, and they are so wonderful and make you so happy, but they want to be able to hold your heart? What happens when your guard shoots up and walls start building because the last person to hold your heart is the one who hurt it? What happens when the memories of pain start coming back and getting in the way of what could truly be an amazing relationship?

That’s when there is a conflict. Except there shouldn’t be any conflict at all, and here is why.

When you got hurt, you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t let somebody else do that to you again. Nobody wants to relive those feelings, and that is most likely why you have built up those walls of yours. You are cautious about who you let yourself talk to and fall for, knowing the risks, and once you get the sense that somebody isn’t right for you then you immediately end things or set boundaries so that you don’t become emotionally attached. You’ve distanced yourself from anyone who may hurt you and you raised your standards for who would be allowed to make you vulnerable again.

Because of your heartbreak, you have high standards, you are a challenge and you are no easy person to love. You have walls and reservations, and you don’t let yourself fall easily. And that is exactly why you should not be afraid to love the person who has continued to pursue you despite all of those things.

You have high standards? Keep your standards that high, and never lower them. If someone is still in your life at the point when you’re thinking about whether or not you should let yourself fall for them, then obviously they have already met your standards.

You are a challenge? Good. That just means that if someone is still around then they are up for the challenge as long as it means having you in the end, and they will not simply quit just because you are not “easy” enough for them.

You are no easy person to love? That’s OK. This person should know that by now and should know what they're getting themselves into. Only the one who is willing to love you, despite the fact that you can sometimes be stubborn and try to push away the love and affection they are trying to give you, deserves you. Because, even though they could potentially be heart broken too, they are still putting their heart on the line for you.

You have walls and reservations? Great! That means your person will enjoy getting to know you on a deeper level as your relationship continues. They will not force you to share anything you are not yet ready to share because they understand you need time, and they know if they really want to get to know you they will need to stick around for that time, something they have no problem doing. They understand that you letting down your walls is your way of telling them you are becoming more invested in the relationship.

You don’t let yourself fall easily? Well then someone is going to have to work at winning over your heart, and work for it hard. And ultimately isn’t that the person you want to end up with anyways? Someone who will fight for you and do everything they can to convince you that your heart is safe with them? Someone who is just dying to share their love with you?

Being hurt should not hold you back from love. If anything, it has provided you with the ultimate test to see if the one pursuing you is truly up for the challenge of being in a relationship with you. It pretty much helps you weed out the weak, the undedicated, those “in it for the wrong reasons” and the ones who just can’t handle it.

Isn’t that why you were left broken-hearted to begin with? Someone was either too weak, wasn’t dedicated enough, was in it for the wrong reasons or just couldn’t handle it? Trust your heart. Don’t be afraid to let somebody love you or to love somebody who has put their heart on the line for you. Don’t be afraid to love somebody who has exceeded all of your expectations, including the ones you forgot to add to the list before you had met them.

Don’t be afraid to love simply because of a heartbreak, because that heartbreak ultimately led you to this person who has waited and fought for you through it all, and that is someone worth loving.