It seems forever ago when I met you, knee-deep in sheet music and spirits soaring among the clouds. we exchanged smiles, suggestions, and notes. I rose and fell, and you sat, listening to every tune, every pitch. you picked up your instrument. “let’s ascend together,” you said, holding my desolate eyes in your kindly ones.
We took the first step together with you holding my hand. You were my mentor, guiding me through the twist, turns and shifts. It was long and slow, but we made it through together.
We reached the second step, sitting for hours upon hours, flipping through books upon books, playing pieces upon pieces, sharing laughs, stories, complaints, and advice. Your positivity dazzled me and took me to a land shattered with imperfections and difficulties but brimming with contentment and gratefulness. The minutes would breeze by and we wouldn’t realize it until our fingers were purpling, and our arms ached.
By the time we approached the third step, we were together but not the same, our instruments engaging in the same conversation, expressing to each other similar thoughts in the beautiful language you taught me to command. You kept pace with me, slow and steady, as I got used to it. You undid everything I've learned and rewired my understanding into coherent bars so I could speak my heart out to my satisfaction. It was tedious, it was slow, but you stayed by my side the entire way.
As time passed, we came upon the fourth step. You treated me as an equal now. Our bows glided across the strings, holding a full-fledged colloquy as easily as we spoke to each other. Our heartbeats kept the tempo and our souls rose with the notes into the air around us as our music echoed throughout the room to envelop every corner in the house. We played until the music was engraved in our fingers as they danced across the fingerboards. You taught me that beauty lies within the spirit, and progress comes with tenacity. You showed me that music is just notes on a paper, but becomes a song when you play it with your heart. “Be thankful for everything,” you told me. “You’re a fighter.” I don’t know how you saw it in me, but somehow i saw the same thing in you.
You were deviating a little by the fifth step, but I didn't know it. It was barely noticeable, and I suppose I thought it was natural, that you were teaching me to hold my own. I played for you, you listened, lost in your own thoughts, drowned in your memories, yet you still interacted with me, never completely leaving me alone. I had my back now, along with the security that you had it too.
It was with this confidence that I climbed up the sixth and seventh steps alone, teaching and correcting myself, always wondering what you would do before I decided on a solution. Despite your lack of presence, you were my guardian, my friend and my mentor.
I am on the eighth step now, and it is here where I saw you again. You kept ascending by yourself until you reached the heavens, leaving me to move back down the scale with nothing but a fractured heart. You’re amongst the clouds and the rays of sunshine, but they won’t ever be brighter and purer than your happiness and nature and the wonders you showed me.
Thank you for allowing me to glimpse the better side of the world when I was surrounded by darkness. Thank you for giving me hope and confidence, and most of all, a channel, a way to release myself and the thoughts and emotions that weigh me down. You told me that musicians find themselves when they lose themselves, and I understand now. I lost myself in the papers, but I found my passion. I lost myself in the music, but I found my heart. but I also lost you in the way, and I’ve gained a world of knowledge that no one else had the heart to pass on to me.
Perhaps our paths may cross again in a long while, but in the many years between, I swear on my soul that you will never go unforgotten. Your positivity, brightness, and happiness will always remain a light in this dark and dreary world. You never know the impact someone has on you until they’re gone, and I realize that now. You’ve had your melodies and harmonies, your accidental sharps and flats, your ups and downs, and you played with countless people. I am honored to be one of them. Until next time, my friend. Perhaps one day, our paths will cross again like the coupled music that once rang within us.
