A surface-level friendship can be defined as "the state of being friends for only appearance and other social events" according to the Urban Dictionary. But I also say that surface-level friends are those you cannot talk to beyond superficial topics. Some things you may talk about with surface level friends are: the new Kylie Lip Kit release, Instagram followers, or even talking badly about your peers. You may have even used to be close to a surface-level friend, thinking they were your best friend at that, but something has changed and what's changed is you.
In high school, you want to be rake in as many friends as you can. All so that you can have the best bonfires, birthday parties, or events of the century. All the matters is the quantity of people around you. Often we lose sight of the quality that those friends lack. Senior year is all about the Instagram likes, followers, who can be the tannest, and who can look the hottest. Or, how many people can I sit with at lunch so people think I'm popular? Its all about the status. Surface-level friends are perfect for maintaining a popular status.
There is a distinct difference between a friend who only the scratches the surface of your being and a friend who breaks down your walls and knows absolutely everything about how your soul works. Your surface friends will not look out for your best interest. Often they will try to sabotage your well-being indirectly. You may have not noticed it before, but take a step back and reevaluate who you spend your time with and what you guys spend your time doing.
I have come to the point in my life where I don't have any time for the people who aren't true friends to me. The people I surround myself with now, I never knew I could be so close to. Because you see, in high school, no one ever cared to know me. They just wanted the drama and to know why things were going badly. The friends that truly care will ask you about the bad, but they will focus on the good. A conversation never goes unfinished until you're happy again. Surface-level friendships left me exhausted and miserable. I hated myself, I always wanted to look different, and I only cared about materialistic matters.
For once in my life, the friends I have found in just a simple year have built me up and made me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to. We talk about clothes and we do go shopping, but we have invested our time in knowing what makes each of us who we are. I never thought I could have such a deep conversation with someone because I was always too scared my "friends" would tell someone else. Now I can't believe I wasted my time thinking that these surface friendships were real. There is nothing real about a friend who you have to keep certain things from.
Step back and count out the people in your life you would consider family. The ones you can tell the grossest things to and they will still love you. The ones where, no matter how bad you mess up, you can tell them and they will still be there for you. The ones who help you chase after your dreams. Those are the ones who matter.
It's not about the quantity, it's about the quality.
