I'm the kind of girl that cares a lot and loves hard. Some might say I care too much, but I would disagree. I don't think that you can ever really care too much. Yes, when you have such a big heart and love people the way I do, you make yourself vulnerable and you get hurt a lot more than if you are emotionally shut off to the world. If I could choose to not care so much I probably would, but if you're anything like me then you know that isn't really an option. Especially in today's society filled with people who think it's cool to be indifferent to those that actually care about them, being one of the rare people like me, who actually has feelings is incredibly hard.

Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like waiting for a train that never actually comes. You constantly hope that one day this person will wake up and realize how much they actually mean to you and they would feel the same way back, or at least appreciate how you feel about them. But they never do, and unfortunately, they probably never will. It's heart breaking when you realize that you can feel so strongly for somebody who really care about you at all.

These people that we care for have a part of our heart and most of the time they treat it so carelessly. They take for granted how well we treat them, but unfortunately that is our fault. We let them take advantage of us, because we don't know how to say no. We do everything for these people that we love and we get nothing in return. Because to them, this is the normal. They don't consider it anything special. I can't tell you how many times I waited up at night for a text, or smiled when I got to see him for even a second. For me, spending time with him was everything, but for him, it was just something to keep him busy while he didn't have any better plans.

I can't tell you how many times I felt like I needed to apologize for my feelings. I was the one who was constantly rejected and treated worthless, yet I was the one who was apologizing for caring too much. I felt like I was drowning in all of the love he refused to accept from me, and somehow I felt l was responsible for that. I wanted so badly for him to accept what I was giving that I forgot how to love myself. How was it that my life revolved around him, but he didn't even think about me? The hardest realization I ever made was that he had all of me, but I had none of him.

I think the worst part about unrequited love is that you know you should let go, but you just can't. There is something that holds you there and makes you think that one day it could all change. Maybe one day all the effort and tears you've put into this person will pay off and they will fall in love with you. Deep down you know you need to move on, but you can't because you've been so hurt by this person that you feel like damaged goods and that you will never have anything better. I know that feeling because it kept me trapped for years. Change is scary. Thinking about how much this person hurt you, and wondering if you could survive ever been hurt this badly again is terrifying. But I can promise you that nothing feels as badly as going through your days constantly feeling like a second choice.

Let me tell you, it sucks waiting for something that never comes. It makes you feel hopeless and worthless. It keeps you up at night wondering what else you could've done and why you weren't good enough. If you can relate to anything I've said so far in this article than I want you to know this: You are good enough. You did more than enough, and if somebody was too blind to see that, then they don't deserve you. I know you can't stop loving someone, so I won't even try to tell you to stop. I know that doesn't help. But know that you deserve to be loved. One day you will find someone who looks at you the way you look at the person who doesn't love you back and your heart will be more full than you can ever imagine.