A little disclaimer before you read on.
Sororities are great. They build strong, confident, and independent women by providing community, friends, and a sisterhood.
That is, for the girls that are in them.
I am writing about an experience I had that is not discussed. It's labeled as a terrifying taboo topic that needs to be brought to the surface.
I rushed a sorority and they didn't want me.
They contacted me, they met me, and then they rejected me. When I got the email after the recruitment process I was devastated. Vulnerably sad and passionately angry, as I reread the email that held so much humiliation.
How was I going to tell my parents that I wasn't good enough for an organization? Would they be disappointed in me?
I was so embarrassed to tell my friends that I was declined a bid. And I feared they wouldn't want to be my friends anymore.
Then when things couldn't get any worse my brain started to go through reasons why they didn't want me.
~I wasn't pretty enough
~Nor nice enough
In the end my brain concluded that I wasn't worth their time.
This awful thought spiraled to mean that I wasn't worth anyones time.
It's sad that a rejection that I experienced could knock me down an icy mountain. After the email came, I was left hiking back up the mountain of a self worth, and it wasn't easy.
I'm not writing this for pity, nor to complain about the greek system, in essence I'm writing this for awareness.
Next fall, there will be thousands of girls rushing a sorority at their universities. They'll be excited, determined, and scared. Sadly, there will be girls devastated when they don't receive a bid in their first weeks of college.
To all the sorority chapters:
Please remember that you were just like these girls.
You went and rushed a chapter and you were determined, excited, and scared. You were vulnerable just like they are.
Of course, you have to select girls that will fit into the values that you pride your chapter on, but you can be empathetic while doing so.
To all the girls who don't get a bid:
Please don't let this rejection define you.
It doesn't measure your worth or how pretty and nice you are.
I thought that I wasn't worth their time, but now I know that they weren't worth mine. And I hope that you come to that realization.
Your parents hearts will grow in sadness with you, not disappointment at you. Your friends will build you up, and if they don't it's time to find better ones.
You can and will get through this. You'll climb back up the mountain slowly and surely.
There are infinite options to explore and create at college. If you don't get a bid it could open up a wall of opportunities.
