I always believed that the guy needed to be the one to pursue the girl. But what I have begun to realize is, maybe it's just an old-fashioned idea that needs to be altered.

The idea that the guy must be the one to initiate the relationship or make the first move is something I have always found "romantic" or chivalrous, but that mindset is not working out for me anymore, because I'm showing interest and he's not biting. It's like I'm running and he ain't chasing after me. So, maybe it's time for a change. Maybe I need to be the one to initiate the first conversation or start the chase. But there's something so scary and terrifying about that. What if I put myself out there, and begin the pursuit, but he doesn't show any interest back.

That's why I've come to the indefinite conclusion that I need to chase after someone who will run after me no matter what. Before I can fully invest in the pursuit of a gentleman, I must chase after the one who has been in constant pursuit of my heart from day one. I need to look to the one who calls me by name. I need to pursue Christ before I can fully invest in a relationship or be pursued by anyone. I believe it is when I invest my energy in the pursuit of Jesus Christ that I will experience growth, which will allow me to understand the joy and difficulties of a constant pursuit of someone's heart because God constantly pursues me.

So, maybe it's not that I need to chase after the guy or get rid of my old-fashioned expectations. But rather I need to turn my eyes and heart towards the one who first loved me.

It has become this expectation that I'll meet a guy, we'll start to talk and he will begin the chase. The truth is, that expectation that the guy will pursue me has consumed me at points and it has only become apparent recently that maybe my own plans don't fit with God's at the moment. I have been consumed by the desire to find the one for me and it has caused me to lose sight of the fact that I need to find myself in Jesus Christ before I can fully give my heart to someone else.

So, the hopes that I'll find a gentleman who shows me respect and chases after my own heart isn't foolish or outdated in this day and age, but rather it's just not something that should constantly consume my thoughts. As I said before, I'm throwing a line out and he ain't biting or I start running and he ain't chasing me, but maybe He was chasing me all along and I just didn't realize it because I was in pursuit of an earthly love rather than running to the one who's love is everlasting, for eternity.