Going from living with a group of women I’ve only known for a few year, to living with people I’ve known and loved my entire life is a bit of an odd change. With my college roommates it took us a little while to settle in to each other’s habits and to understand each other’s mannerisms. Now that I live with two of my cousins, things are drastically different. It's comical at times and infuriating at others. So if you are considering moving in with blood relatives here are some things you can expect.
1. Boundaries are Blurrier…
With other roommates it's a matter of figuring out what the other people involved are okay with and then abiding by those rules so that neither party is angered or frustrated. With cousins you assume you’re free to do what you want. After all, these people are related to you. You are kind of stuck with each other.
2. …Until They aren’t
With roommates, when you step over the line you are gently guided back within the boundaries through one of the many passive-aggressive tactics at your roommate’s disposal. When you step over the line with family members you are quickly knocked back within bounds when you hear your name - your full name - screamed at you from across the house.
3. Heart Attacks
For some odd and unknown reason family seems to find a distinct pleasure in scaring the absolute crap out of each other. You can’t come home from work without someone lying in wait for you behind a corner. You begin to live in constant fear, never knowing when or where they are going to jump out at your next. Actually, that might just be my family.
4. Death Threats
Again, this could just be my family, but the number of times someone has verbally threatened me has increased greatly since my time living in the dorms. Likewise, the number of threats I’ve found forcing their way past my lips has also seen a dramatic uptake. But deep down you all know they are just empty words.
5. Comparisons
Most people don’t like to be compared to others, and just because you are comparing family member to family member, does not nullify this fact. But, the more time you spend around them the more idiosyncrasies you see that are flawless recreations of other relatives, and really you can’t help but point them out. It’s not your fault your cousin looks and acts exactly like your uncle
6. Competitions
There’s nothing like being genetically similar to someone to solidify your determination to never let them best you at anything. Even if it’s something as stupid as knowing which version of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers came first, the movie or the play.
7. Dietary Sabotage
Friends will help when you go on a diet; hold you accountable and cheer you on. Family will make it their sworn duty to trip you up as often as they can without actually capsizing you. Whether it's finding a cookie on your pillow and oreos in the cupboard, every time you turn around bad things have found their way into the house and someone is offering them to you.
8. Public Humiliation
It's not just parents that can make you cringe with the horrifying feeling of embarrassment. Whether it's making people sing "Happy Birthday" to you when it's not your birthday, telling stories you'd rather be forgotten or mortifying you in front of the person you like, if there's an opportunity to make you blush chances are they are going to take it.
9. A Real Life Game of Telephone
This happens with friends as well as relative, but it certainly is more frequent with family. "Have you told so-and-so Happy Birthday yet?" "Will you call my mom and tell her ____?" "I don't have my phone, text her and tell her ____." For some unknown reason it's easier to make someone else deliver your text message than to actually write and send it yourself. Besides, when you have a lot of the same contacts it just makes sense to use the closest phone possible.
10. Someone is Always Coming Over
Living in the dorms most of my friends were just down the hall, the rest were a short walk down the hill, and family was too far away to go see too often, so for the most part no one really comes to visit. If you want to see someone you meet somewhere. But when you live with family someone is always coming over. If it's not your parents or siblings, it's their parents or siblings, or more cousins, or friends, or your cousin's friends. Great for extroverts and ambivalent, not too great for introverts.
11. “Spontaneous Violent Love”
When you live in such close quarters with people you have known and loved since the day you first drew breath, it is easy to get annoyed. Little habits, mannerisms, and eccentricities that wouldn’t annoy you if a friend were to take them up, will drive you a little crazy. But somehow, despite these annoyances you continue to love and care from these people. The result is a strange need to physically harm them without actually hurting. Like the death threats; you know these actions are hollow, devoid of the hostile edge.
Because at the end of the day, family is family. As much as you get on each other's nerves, they’d live and die for you just as you would for them.
