Dear Random Roomies, I'm Glad I Didn't Know You BEFORE College

Dear Random Roomies, I'm Glad I Didn't Know You BEFORE College

I chose my roommates randomly, and because of that, they've have become some of my best friends and my greatest blessing.

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To the sweet women of 732,

I had no idea when I replied to your GroupMe request for a roommate on May 2nd that I would soon be blessed with the friendship and love of the three of the most incredible women I've ever met, and that I would learn and grow so much without ever leaving my dorm room.

Moving in with three strangers was definitely awkward. You all worked hard to not call me "Mary." I put my alarm on "quiet" in fear of waking you up too early (even though I missed my 8:30 a few times because of it). I portrayed my best self, careful not to let you in to see my weaknesses or my struggles. I was looking for people to live with, but I for sure wasn't looking for friends.

But then we made cookie bakes late at night. Then you covered me up with a blanket while I was taking a nap and let me borrow a shirt. We spent several nights laughing, dancing, and ranting. Then we stood up for each other. Soon we opened up about how our hearts had been broken, and how the darkness of the world has touched each of our lives. In the blink of an eye, we were friends. I noticed myself looking forward to coming home to my support system — my ladies of 732. And when I walked in the door shaking after reading a text message that almost broke my heart, your arms were the ones I wanted to run into.

You all have taught me the value of having people in your life that care, people that can tease you, people that you can laugh with (and at), and even people that are completely different as you.

Despite being involved in different things, being in different majors, from different hometowns, from different churches, and not knowing each other before college, we've created quite a home for ourselves in 732. You've become my go-to gals, the source of my laughter, my "daughters," and the people I'd drop everything to drive to pick up or share a Mac and Cheese with. ;)

We've gotten the incredible privilege to not have the pressure of friendship to allow it to grow through awkwardness, taking some L's, and a lot of heart to hearts.

I am more thankful for you all than you will ever know.

All my love,

Mary Clare

(aka Mar/Mom/MC)

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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The ABCs Of Taking 8 A.M. Classes At FSU

The early bird can get the worm if it means I get an extra hour of sleep!

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This alphabetical list will walk you through what I feel for 8 a.m. courses.

1. A...

Alright, who allowed me to take 8 a.m. Monday through Friday?

2. B...

Bagels, bananas, and breakfast bars are the only things I can eat quick enough.

3. C...

Cold brew coffee is the only way I can function properly.

4. D...

Don't talk to me, it's way too early.

5. E...

Exhausted is an understatement.

6. F...

Feel free to cancel class at any time.

7. G...

Group projects during an 8 a.m. class is a new kind of evil.

8. H...

How do I always end up staying up way too late?

9. I...

I'm sorry I'm late... again.

10.  J...

Just keep hitting the snooze button repeatedly.

11.  K...

Knowing who I am, I still took an 8 a.m. so congrats, I played myself.

12.  L...

Looking forward to a nap the minute I get home.

13.  M...

Morning person by force, not by choice.

14.  N...

No one tells you how much harder it is to get out of bed when it's cold outside.

15.  O...

One day I'm bound to sleep through one of my classes––it's inevitable.

16.  P...

Please don't call on me to answer the question.

17.  Q...

Quit expecting me to be more engaged, you're lucky I showed up to class on time.

18.  R...

Rushing to get ready because I always sleep through my alarms.

19.  S...

Seeing the sunrise when I wake up is worth it sometimes.

20.  T...

The feeling of finding a parking space on the first try is relieving.

21.  U... 

Unlike other students, my day finishes earlier.

22.  V...

Very few people can do this every day.

23.  W...

Weekends go by way too fast.

24.  X...

Xylophone tones aren't as peaceful as an alarm tone.

25.  Y...

You're a liar if you say you genuinely enjoy 8 a.m. classes.

26.  Z...

Zero tolerance for anyone that insists on being super loud in the morning.

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