Recently, I have read many articles that seem to overstate an idea that modern day college students have forgotten or have no real conceptual grasp on romance and what romance is.

At first, I got sucked into agreeing with this generalization. As I started thinking more and comparing all of the remarks to my relationship, I came to a realization.

Now, I would like to beg to differ that romance is subjective to the romancer. The romancer being either someone else or simply ourselves.

I do not think that romance is dead. "Romance" means a feeling of excitement or mystery for everyday life. However, I do think that it has manifested into new forms. This reoccurring observation has been zeroed into just college students because we are the first wave to experience the rippling change.

Ideas are forever changing.

Like any defining aspect that is prevalent during a period time -- fashion, art, literature, sports, foods, etc -- eventually, they all transform and are thrown into being something different and new, ricocheting sparks of change and excitement. New ideas arise and become consumed by society, thus having the power to create a whole new perspective or take on a single idea. Almost anything that has a hand in shaping society can be compared to being a trend. Nothing stays constant forever, and these sometimes unfavorable changes shouldn't be simply surmised into being “dead.”

We love ourselves.

With that being said, we, the “millennials,” so rightly adopted the notion to love ourselves. We thrive off of our characteristic on being social and collaborative through self-promotion. So yes, basically we are obsessed with ourselves, but in a pretty cool and awesome way (in my opinion). Therefore, we just don’t feel the need to rush into falling in love with another person by carefully coating a growing relationship with traditional romantic tactics. Instead, we channel all of that unnecessary energy into focusing on ourselves and growing our thoughts and ideas into bigger things than a superfluous courtship. In fact, being self-sufficient and totally independent is extremely admirable among millennials. Compared to the 1960s, our “American Dream” transcended into more than owning a house in the suburbs and having a cookie-cutter family. Our idea of success has broadened into so much more than factoring in a relationship into defining our happiness.

We understand that there is no rush to find ourselves in a romantic relationship. Perhaps these accusations don't consider that maybe we are just caught in a romance with ourselves, or that our lack of commitment to a romantic relationship with someone else has been put on hold for selfish but rightful purposes. We know the "the one" is out there somewhere so we choose to not waste time looking. In the meantime, learn to love who we are (maybe experience a bit of the hookup culture), then eventually unite with our other half at a later time.

However, if we do find ourselves in a relationship…

Every relationship is different.

Each person has different values and needs. And sure, in college maintaining a “classic” romantic relationship can pose challenges. Our funds are limited and our schedules are tight. I do not expect my boyfriend to present me with flowers or take me out to dinner every weekend. I think that goes for most modern day collegiate women. We opt to not base our relationship on these romantic gestures or dates (that often clash with feminist values). Instead, we listen, motivate, and support each other on all levels, from getting through a day of classes to achieving a long-term goal. That is my idea of a romance. I think these values go for a lot of college students who realize that the idea of romance is no longer limited to a series of creative dates or well thought out gestures.

The modern day idea of romance is that we have someone at the end of the day to talk to, vent to, listen to, and yeah, “Netflix and chill” with because we can. This does not mean that we no longer have deep thought-provoking conversations or do not care to learn more about the other person. Our romancing is simply done in a different, new way.