So, where do you go when you feel like you've hit rock bottom? When school is a joke, relationships are non-existent, finances are mythical, and time is a unattainable commodity. There are good things, here and there, but for the most part, life seems to be piling on to you regardless of the moves you make.
What do you do? Do you smile and pretend like nothing is wrong? Do you shut out your friends and family, even when they do try to reach out? Do you dip into drug and alcohol usage, in order to cope? Maybe you go head first into the free fall, and accept the brutality of fate as it consumes you?
I'm not sure.
Maybe you pray? Or maybe you run headfirst into the seemingly insurmountable challenge of getting back on track? Maybe you pick yourself up and push through? Or possibly you admit to yourself and someone you trust how hard of a time you're having?
As I write this, I try not to feel too sorry for myself. A lot of my day-to-day problems, up to this point have been self-wrought. I don't budget. I don't usually follow a schedule. I've spent way too much time socializing instead of studying. I don't take care of my stuff. I rush into situations without regard for the consequences. I hold myself back by not speaking the things on my heart and mind. And even though I know all of this I still haven't broken the cycle.
But a year and a half of college has taught me that success, especially as a black man, is all about breaking the negative cycles. And those cycles don't have to be gang-banging, or hard crimes. They can be kicking it with your friends when you should be studying, or misusing your money when you really need it for something else. Or it could even be not taking college seriously, repeatedly, despite knowing how easy it is to fall behind. Regardless of what your cycle is, unless you're ready to break it you can't move forward.
And yet as easy as it sounds, it's hard to break our cycles. It's hard to say no to people, even when you know they don't make you any better. It's hard to admit to yourself that you're overextended, or nervous, or overwhelmed. It's hard to aspire for more when all of your life, you've been able to "finesse" everything in your life. But there comes a time when finessing and slacking, don't cut it. I think I've reached that point.
So for all those who read this. Just take things day-to-day, if you feel like you've hit rock bottom, embrace it, cope with it, grow from it. It's the hardest thing to do, I still don't really know how to do it. But with practice comes perfect, and I'm getting pretty good at this rock bottom thing.
Find people who will elevate you, respect you, and hold you accountable. Once you find those people, constantly surround yourself with them. Do not allow yourself to be dragged down by those who don't have your best interest in mind.
I'm serious.
As soon as you get a warning sign, that you're in too deep, or these aren't the people for you...
Run! Don't walk!
Life's too precious, busy, and short to be bogged down by other's problems, perceptions, and pettiness. Additionally, don't let other's toxicity spill into the positive aspects of your life.
Stay up black people! Be happy with the choices you make, with the friends you have, with how you spend time. Don't stop grinding. Whatever motivational words you can think of, live them. For too long, I just like many of my fellow college students have only been "kind of my best self", or my "almost-decent self" but that doesn't cut it anymore. Pity parties get no pity, and people can't be coerced in to caring, so you have to care.
And my last words. Never silence your black voice, or whatever voice that you have. Don't conform to expectations from anyone. We've got this. Don't be fooled into thinking that you can take a break if you want to be great. But be sure to take care of yourself. Don't hold it all in, it's not good for you. Don't let pain stop you either though. We only have now, while we're young and full of hope, so we need to use our time to work hard, so we can change the world (and also maybe play hard). I believe in you. I believe in me. So let's go out and do this.
