Driving. Since Henry Ford made the Model T automobile widely-accessible in the early 1900s, America has been cruising on four wheels to decrease travel time and increase comfort whilst traveling.
Some people really enjoy their time behind the wheel. I am not one of those people.
I wouldn't necessarily say I hate driving, it's just that I get bored when I'm driving, especially when I'm alone. It's difficult for me to stay excited about staying in-between road lines while cruising through the less-than-thrilling landscape of Eastern Kansas all by my lonesome.
Unfortunately, I've had to do exactly that. This past month, I've driven from my hometown of Burlington, Kansas to my college town of Lawrence, Kansas every weekday to take a summer class. By the end, I will have traveled a total of 2,259 miles spanning over 45 hours, just for summer school.
I can't say I didn't choose this life, as I calculated that it was cheaper for me to drive than it was to pay to live in Lawrence for the summer (if you're interested in the math, shoot me a message, but I'll skip it for everyone else). However, I can say that it's been an ordeal.
Because I've spent so much time on four wheels, I've had to figure out techniques to keep me from driving off the nearest cliff from boredom, and I surprisingly have found many that work well. Read on, and you might find one to try on your next long drive.
1. Dig out those old CDs
Yes, these still exist. My car has an Aux Cord, but my phone doesn't work with it, unfortunately. So, to still get turnt to my favorite jamz, without the added radio commercials, I've been listening to full CDs while I'm cruising down the highway.
My favorites this month have been Bleacher's "Strange Desire" and "Gone Now" and Imagine Dragons "Night Visions" and "Smoke + Mirrors." I went an entire week obsessively listening to The Killer's "Battle Born," which is NOT the one with "Mr. Brightside," if you can believe it.
2. Pop on a podcast
Having a less than positive experience with audio books, I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to get into a podcast series. I didn't understand the appeal of listing to a bunch of people discussing a random topic if I couldn't join in the conversation.
Boy howdy, was I wrong. Not only did I find one series, I found several I really enjoy and make me laugh. My two favorites are Adultsh1t by Buzzfeed's Kelsey Darragh and Kate Peterman and Potterless by Mike Schubert, both of which can be found on Spotify and can be trusted to bring lots of laughs.
3. Chew gum
For my 9:10 a.m. class, I have to wake up pretty early to make it on time. As I've mentioned before, I hate mornings or really getting out of bed at all. As teleportation hasn't been invented yet, my alarm is set to go off at 6:30 a.m. This gives me plenty of time to snooze it a few times, stagger around to get ready and plop myself in my car around 7:30 a.m. to make the trek up to Lawrence.
As the amount of caffeine I would have to ingest to make morning drives even mildly bearable is astronomical, even for me, I had to find a solution that would help me fight the hypnotic lull of the road. Thankfully, I heard on the radio one morning that chewing gum could do the trick.
While it's not like chugging a can of Redbull, it does wake my brain up enough to make it to Lawrence without falling asleep at the wheel.
4. Make up a drinking game
Yes, you read that right, and no, I don't mean an alcohol-related game. My summer employment of lifeguarding means that I need to stay hydrated throughout the day, lest I succumb to heat stroke or something.
Since water isn't my morning beverage of choice, I've developed a water drinking game. In it, I sip
. . .when I turn
. . .when I pass roadkill
. . .when I pass a semi
. . .when I pass a green town distance sign
. . .when I pass a county marker
. . .when someone passes me
. . .when I see an orange cone that's been run over in a construction zone
If my lack of heat stroke is any indicator, I'd say it's a pretty successful game.
5. Do a little dance
The downside to driving alone is that there's no one to talk to when the road gets long. The upside is that there's no one in the car to judge my ridiculous dance moves.
Along with jamming to my CD collection, I switch on the radio occasionally, and I can say with confidence that I have made tentative line dances to at least five of the current chart-toppers.
I won't reveal my genius quite yet. I will say, however, that there is never such a thing as too much jazz hand.
6. Sing a little song
No solo car dance session would be complete without singing as loud as humanly possible. While I know I don't sound like Etta James or Beyoncé in reality, it doesn't stop me from trying to in the comfort of my own car.
I also like to try out harmonies and sing both parts of various duets. I'll take my Grammy now.
7. Question life's decisions, or maybe just life
No extended period of time alone would be complete for me without some deep musings, and these drives are no exceptions.
Questions float through my head. "Am I living my best life?" "Am I happy? What is happiness, honestly?" "Why must I make decisions about my future that wakes me up so insanely early?" "Is love really a battlefield?"
No conclusions yet, unfortunately.
8. Establish landmarks
When I write landmarks, I mean physical places that tell you how long you have until you reach your destination.
For example, I know when Highway 59 gets super bumpy by the exit for Centropolis, Kansas (yes, it is a real place), I have roughly five minutes of drive time until I reach my exit for Ottawa.
Picking out different landmarks like these help with my impatience with driving, as I can gently remind myself I only have X amount of time left to drive instead of feeling like I've been driving for five hours.
9. Find the perfect car settings
I am convinced that there is a perfect air-conditioning setting, seat setting, mirror setting, and steering-wheel setting for my car. One that will result in a pleasant drive without various leg and neck cramps, icicles forming on my rear-view mirror, or a sauna forming in my front seat.
I have yet to find that one perfect setting. I'll keep searching for this vehicle utopia, but my car may be conspiring against me.
10. Compare gas prices
As an incredibly broke college kid who made the unfortunate decision to continue to pay for college during summer, I'm all about getting the bang for my buck. Considering my car needs gas every single day, this attitude has become almost vicious.
My daily habits include scoping out every single gas station from my homeland to Lawrence and adjusting my gas consumption to visit only the cheapest one when I need a fill-up.
I considered getting a loyalty card for several different grocery stores, just to get the gas points, but I thought that was a little much for a month.
There you have it, folks. Think of these next time you decide to have a road-centered adventure.