Rita Ora's "Girls" was released on May 11, 2018. The song features rapper Cardi B and pop singers Bebe Rhexa and Charlie XCX. Hailed by some as a bisexual-anthem but a perpetuation of the male gaze to others, the song has been the subject of much controversy this past week.

Gay singer Hayley Kiyoko, as well as queer singer Kehlani, spoke out about the song. They considered it to have language offensive to the LGBTQ community and negatively portraying the experience of women who love women.

Here's what you need to know:

1. Hayley Kiyoko was not pleased with the song

She tweeted this on May 11:

2. Kehlani was also not pleased

She posted this now-deleted tweet:

3. Rita Ora is apologetic

She posted this to Twitter on May 1:

4. Cardi B is too! But she makes a good defensive point

The call-out culture which has developed in recent years and been perpetuated by the internet and social media seems to be missing something important: a forgiveness element. First, give people the benefit of the doubt. When Cardi B and Rita Ora insist that it was not their intention to use slurs and contribute to stereotypes, believe them.

When Cardi B says not everyone knows the terms to use, believe her. Because if it was you, you’d want the benefit of the doubt too. And your argument might be, “But I do know the right terms to use” here. Yes, you do. Here. In this situation.

But think about all of the times you comment on things or express your opinion about things that you haven’t looked at from all angles or considered 360 degrees. Commenting and the like open up a dialogue. It's OK to be wrong! Being willing to learn and implement what is right is what matters.

Note that forgiving does not excuse the lyrics and message of the song or the artists for their mistake. It is important to educate ourselves on the right terms to use and ways to avoid perpetuating stereotypes. But no one can be right about everything all the time.

It is important and right to call these artists out when there is genuine offense and, if you feel the need, boycott the song. But it is not right to automatically hate them, especially if you’ve never listened to a single song of his or hers or assume the worst about them or boycott all of their music.

It is a mistake to make it personal or assume that Hayley speaking out is somehow about record sales and trying to bring other women down.

And it is definitely not okay to call an artist who does feel the need to comment on an issue she is close to with the slurs and offensive language she set out to prevent.

There is a difference between attacking and addressing: Hayley was addressing these girls and their song. Not attacking them. I would encourage everyone to learn as much as they can about as much as they can and make a sincere effort to choose your words carefully. But if you expect forgiveness when you slip up, afford the same to others.