There's only 2 ways every single relationship ends.  Either you break up, or you get married. Simple as that. As Taylor Swift says, "It's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames."  She nailed it.

With the recent split of the Bachelorette's Andi and Josh, I started thinking about relationships.  Given, the circumstances to that relationship were pretty weird but I feel like a lot of people around me are playing that exact game, trying to find someone to settle down with in an allotted amount of time that just so happens to be called college.

I had a good friend who used to ask me, "if you don't see yourself marrying them why are you dating them?"  That one question kind of became a way of life for me until I realized I can't predict the outcome.  The reason we date as college students should not be for marriage. 

 A first date is awkward and uncomfortable and after three dates you're still trying to figure out the other person. The reason we should date is to grow close to someone else.  We should date to learn about them and their life because they fascinate us and we understand that by being near them we can learn something about ourselves too. 

Dating is an experience in the greater process of self exploration we are going through as 20-something year olds.  We don't date for the other person but rather for ourselves.  So where is the balance in dating for yourself and being selfish?

Dating for yourself is a way to learn more about who you are.  You learn what you like and what you don't.  Does the way he hold his fork when he eats bother you?  Or what about the way he never matches his socks or leaves his towel on the ground?  Does his taste in music make you want to scream over that awful playlist or is it something you find yourself singing in the shower?  That's learning about yourself. Your likes and dislikes.  

Being selfish is when you forget to tell him he's handsome while the two of you are sitting on the couch one night or when you stop thanking him for opening the door.  When he holds your hand because he knows you expect it rather than for the excitement or affection is when you know he's felt manipulated.  Being selfish leads to nothing so take the time to appreciate him and who he is and what he does for you. 

 Even if you aren't dating, take time to acknowledge the good that is there between you and enjoy these memories.  Don't be afraid to make new ones and don't try to label them.  Don't rush him for a ring and don't pressure yourself into believing you need one.  Don't let yourself be the subject of a selfish man and be a fling but be content. 

 If what you have is good, let it be good and be content. Be yourself and when you find someone you can be in a partnership with and keep your individualism, that is when you know you've got something good.  Wether temporary or forever, enjoy today and tomorrow and take it one day at a time.  Just my 2₵.