WANTED: A job/graduate school program in any state north of the 35 parallel

DATE OF AVAILABILITY: May 16, 2018

WILLING TO RELOCATE: I will pack up all of my things and drive across the country myself if I have to.

REASON FOR SEARCH: I can no longer stand it being 90 degrees in the middle of October. I need seasons. I. Need. Colder. Weather.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE ISSUES THAT COME WITH COLD WEATHER: Oh yes I do, and I don’t care. You may not have to shovel heat, but you can only take off so many clothes before you’re asked to leave Walmart.

SKILLS: Excellent interpersonal communication skills. Attuned skills in event coordination and operations management. Proficient in Microsoft Office Suite. Superb oral and written skills. Team player. Honestly, if you can give me a reason to move North, I’ll become an expert in whatever you need me to be. I hate the heat that much.

EDUCATION: Bachelors of Arts in Communication with and emphasis on Interpersonal and Organizational Communication from St. Edward’s University in Austin, Texas. (Let me just emphasize Austin, Texas. The middle of the hottest state ever. I don’t care what you say Arizona or New Mexico, Texas is the hottest state.)

STATEMENT OF INTEREST: I just want to get out of the heat basically, and I will do everything shy of selling my body to do it.