It is finally here. In less than one week, I will be home for Thanksgiving break. It is the first time since late August that I will be reunited with my entire family. While I am excited to see my family again, I feel myself filling with a quiet sort of panic. How could this be? I love my family more than anything, and desperately need a break from my studies.

For one, I have existed in a foreign world separate from the one my family inhabits for nearly three months. Whenever I reference ‘home,’ I immediately find myself thinking of my cluttered, homey dorm room, and not the comfortable cube-shaped brick building that houses my childhood.

Since I am removed from my family, I have had new experiences that I have not been able to share with them. For the first time, I have created a life that is separate from the people whose blood I share. I may have told my parents and brothers about my friends, classes, adventures, and shenanigans, but they are not truly aware of them. They only know of my life through hastily relayed stories and descriptions given on the phone or through Skype in between activities and classes.

They have also created a life without me. While I do not like to accept it, they have gone on living happily in my absence. No longer am I aware of everyone’s days and details, and I have surely missed characterizing moments and experiences.

So, I will undoubtedly be returning home to slightly different people, and that is unnerving. I realize that this is only the beginning of leading a more independent life. Gone are the days that my life singularly resides with my family. We will continue to grow and change and become altered versions of ourselves, and we will not always do those things together. All I can do when I get home is try to soak in the experiences I have missed, and savor all the time I have with my family until I can see them again during Christmas break.

For anyone who is panicking about returning home for break, it is entirely understandable. You have developed your own sense of freedom and routine while at school, and returning to an environment where there are suddenly rules and regulations may shatter the delusion of that freedom.

Additionally, this is the first major break that you will be taking from your college life. It will feel alien to abruptly leave everything behind and return to a place that holds memories that are not associated with college. It will be strange to examine the life you had before, especially when you have changed so much in the brief time away.

So, for anyone who is nervous about returning home, there is no reason to feel alone. Try to enjoy the time you have with your family, and, if you must, remember that you will be back at school soon enough.