Once upon a time there was an exhausted, disrespected server at Old Country Buffet who smelled of mashed potatoes and dirty rags. She sighed, pulling bits of macaroni and corn from her disheveled hair. She cleared her last table, melted ice cream dripping off the sides and onto the floor. She rummaged through the mountain of dishes and leftovers to find a meager, depressing even, $1 bill the customer had (not) so generously left for her troubles. Once the last customer left, 10 minutes after close I might add, she grabbed the mop and headed to the men's bathroom. As she cleaned the sticky, mud covered floor she thought up a list. A list of all the things she wished customers would remember/know.
The girl in the story was me last March through June and here is that list.
1. When you're done with plates, stack them. And preferably put them closer to the end of the table. Your server will rejoice at how much faster they can clear the table.
2. No matter how little your server interacted with you, tip them. Even if your server only brought you drinks and stopped by once or twice, for Pete's sake, tip them. Chances are they have many other tasks to perform behind the scenes that you can not see. If you feel they did not do a very good job, ask to speak to a manager about it, but tip them. No matter the circumstances, you should always leave something. Most servers are paid the absolute minimum because they get tips.
3. No, your spare change does not count. If the only tip you leave on the table are a few dimes and pennies, don't bother leaving anything. At that point it's just an insult.
4. If your food is bad, don't get mad at the server. Unless your server is also the chef, chances are they had nothing to do with food beyond bringing it to your table. Servers often get the brunt of customers' anger because they are the first to respond to your concern. If you have a problem with the food, politely ask to speak with the manager and reassure them that you understand this is not their fault.
5. If you make a mess, don't just sit there. Everyone spills and drops food. It's perfectly acceptable to ask the server for a rag or even some help, but do not just sit there and watch them clean up your mess. Help them. Get on your hands and knees with them. They have other tables to attend to and making them single-handedly clean up your mess will set them back on their duties.
6. If your kids are younger than 7, just don't go out to eat. Kids are a server's worst enemy. If I saw a big family with little kids come in I knew I would have a huge mess and a very small (or non existent) tip. If you are parent, be prepared to clean up after your kid. If you wouldn't let them throw frosting in your house, don't let them in a restaurant. It's not a day care and we are not baby sitters.
7. Being a "regular" doesn't mean special treatment. Quite like the gambler's fallacy, people often believe that if they show up to a restaurant more frequently, the more hospitality they will be offered. This is not true. You will not be seated before others who are ahead of you. You will not be given any free food without a coupon. And not under any circumstances are you allowed to be disrespectful to the staff if things are not going your way.
8. If you engage with your server (treat them like a human) they will probably really like it. Despite being around people constantly, some servers might feel lonely because you go for long periods without engaging with anyone on a personal level. Don't be afraid to ask them about school or their family and friends. As long as you don't ask inappropriate questions, your server will most likely appreciate the fact you noticed them.
Most people who go to restaurants are polite and respectful because most people at one point had a job in customer service. The trick for those who are disrespectful is to remember what that felt like. Next time you are at a restaurant try a couple of these things. A small act of kindness and conscientiousness can go a long way.
