Recently, I read an article entitled "Women Cannot Be Best Friends With Men." After only reading the title, I knew I would have some issues with this piece. However, the more I read, the more frustrated I became.

If you haven't read the piece, the author begins by explaining that she is specifically talking about heterosexual men and women. She goes on to state that men and women can be friends, just not best friends. The rest of the article is an explanation of one idea: you have no choice in falling in love with him; it will happen, whether you like it or not.

Now, there are several problems with this line of thinking, but the most evident to me at first glance was how blatantly heteronormative it was. I will admit, the author started off by saying that she was speaking about heterosexual men and women, but she then goes on to make some statements such as, "This is natural. It is the way we were designed; we were designed to see the opposite sex as potential partners." As if those who aren't heterosexual must have some sort of flaw in their design, right?

Furthermore, whether or not the author is speaking specifically about heterosexual couples is irrelevant. The standard she sets up is this: if you have a best friend of the gender to which you are attracted, you will fall in love with them. By this logic, those who are pansexual must not be able to have best friends. As a bisexual woman, am I only allowed to have best friends who don't conform to the gender binary?

Now for the sake of conversation, let's pretend that in some world, I was able to look past the erasure of LGBT+ experience in this article. I would still be unable to accept the message presented, as it states in fairly clear terms that we must have no choice in who we fall in love with.

Let me tell you something. There is more than one kind of love. Don't let all those Nicholas Sparks novels you've been reading fool you. Getting to know someone very well does not mean that you have no choice in becoming physically attracted or in love with them. Platonic love exists, and it's unreasonable to assume that it must lead to romantic love.

Finally, let me just say that true, deep love is a choice. It's different from skin-deep infatuation. Love means choosing over and over again to really work toward a relationship in order to build something to which you will constantly be making adjustments, out of a willingness to keep the relationship going.

You are fully capable of remaining just best friends if you want to. You are fully capable of entering into a romantic relationship if you want to. Don't believe anyone who tells you that you have "no choice" in your future. It's all up to you.

Now, I know that it's more than likely that the author of this piece was speaking about her own personal experience. I can't discount what she has experienced, but I do know that every person is different, and so too is every friendship and relationship difference. What's true for one couple will not be true for all.

That's the most important takeaway here. When it comes to the dynamics of relationships, you always have a choice, and there are no universal absolutes.