Picture with me if you will: A man writes an article about how he dated a young woman during his college years for a while. He starts talking about how they broke up and why. It get's heated and at one point the girlfriend informs the boyfriend about how he would rape her. What would happens was they would be laying on the couch and things would get a little frisky between them. Then he would want sex, and she would say no.
He would keep insisting and trying even though she kept saying no and even trying to physically resist him. After a while, she would give in and let him rape her. Sounds awful, tragic, and heartbreaking, right? Well, it's true, but there's a twist: the boy is the victim, and the girl is a rapist.
I recently read an article where said girl talks about how she would rape her boyfriend. Unfortunately, it was removed from Odyssey (probably because it was inappropriate beyond reason), so I cannot leave a link. She went on in the article explaining how she felt awful about herself because she had to realize she was a rapist. Then writes how she had her friend's tell her it's okay because she didn't know she was doing it. She also admits how after she would rape him, she would keep asking him over and over again if they were okay, which he would say yes to because he still loved her and didn't know what to say.
According to her, consent is not a black and white situation when you're in a relationship, which is why she thought it was okay. Let me inform you on something: It's not okay.
No means no.
This article made my insides churn for many reasons. She sexually abused him, would continuously ask him about it— which would make the abuse worse. The fact that she said her "self-esteem took a hit" when she found out she was raping him. But those aren't what make my skin crawl the most. It's about what the boyfriend said to her when he told her about the abuse: that he couldn't tell anyone because it's embarrassing and no one would take it seriously anyway, which is a God honest truth.
The reason why I began this article with that twisted story is that it is a perfect example of the double standard. A girl is raped, which is tragic, and everyone would come to her defense and fight to have that man behind bars, which that's how it should be. But imagine if it was a man claiming that a woman raped him, people would see it as a joke and no one would take it seriously, which is sick and wrong. Why should the outburst be any different?
An episode of "Law & Order: SVU" perfectly explains a situation like this. A man was handcuffed to a bed by three women and was gang raped by them. He is silent about it for a while until the detectives finally gain his trust and he tells them about it. Of course, he was nervous because he thought nothing would be done about it. The interesting part about these three women was that they're lawyers, but the detectives went after them anyway. The women were convicted of rape and were sent to jail.
People in this world need to remember that, yes, women can be victims of sexual harassment and abuse, but so can men. We have all the statistics about women being raped and sexually assaulted, but do we have those for men? Correct, factual ones? NO. Because those men are too scared to come forward. Because society doesn't recognize it.
Women are so focused on just our rights, just women's rights. We should be fighting for everyone's rights. Anyone can be a victim, male or female, no matter what the circumstances. This boyfriend was a victim, and unfortunately, no one, not even the girlfriend (rapist) saw it that way.
Men can be abused. Men can be raped. Men can be victims. Let's start fighting for everyone's rights.
