This article is a response to an article that can be found here.
As a Catholic millennial, let me just take a moment to say just how upset this makes me. I would be incredibly naive to think that church attendance among millennials is high. I know better than to convince myself of this.
I consider myself incredibly lucky when it comes to church. I was raised in the most wonderful parish anyone ever could have asked for. I grew up going to church every Sunday with my mom and brother. A combination of a wonderful parish and always going to church with my family; how lucky was I? As soon as we were old enough to be done with weekly CCD, we moved into a family version. My parish has always emphasized the importance of family and I truly believe that good faith starts at home. The three of us, my mom, brother and I, sat together every night before bed and said our prayers together. We even said the ones we made up at family CCD.
As soon as I was allowed to, 4th grade I believe, I became an alter server. I hated being up in front of people but there was something about being part of mass that made everything so much more interesting to me. Even now when they’re in need of a server, I’ll still jump in with pleasure. The summer before senior year of high school I became a Eucharistic Minister. This meant I got to offer communion and be part of mass in a more sacred way.
The first job I ever got, as soon as I turned 16, was at my church rectory. I worked Saturday mornings (yeah, mornings) answering the phone and helping anyone who came in. It gave me a chance to get to know my priests even better and to feel even more connected.
Every so often, a priest is reassigned to a new parish. These transition periods were some of the hardest for me. I can’t count how often I cried over the idea that someone I’d grown to trust so much could be leaving. And along with that, I swore to never like whoever came in. This never worked. I can honestly say that my priests have become my friends.
Earlier I mentioned my family being my mom, brother and I. My brother and I were five and three, respectively, when our dad passed away suddenly from a massive heart attack. Our pastor had been at our parish for less than a year, not enough time to truly get to know families. My dad died on a Monday. Tuesday morning our pastor was at our house to offer comfort and to see what the parish could do for us. Through the MOMs group at our parish (a group of moms who come together to share life experiences in a Catholic environment; a group my mom was actively a part of), they arranged to have all meals made and delivered to us for six months. The group set up a lawn service for the summer to make sure my mom didn’t have to worry about it. In our time of need, our parish wrapped around us and stood up for us to make sure we were taken care of. Since then, we have watched our parish come together in times of need and tragedies time and time again.
Even while abroad, one of the things I’ve looked forward to most has been visiting churches all over the world.
Throughout high school, I spent 11 weekends, Friday through Sunday, on church retreats. This doesn’t include the lock-in’s, team meetings and youth group evenings. No matter what my plans were at any given time, as soon as sign-ups were out for retreats, I was always the first one to hand in my slip.
To say this article upsets me would be an understatement.
I’m incredibly blessed in the parish I grew up in.
Not once did I ever feel like I wasn’t listened to. Everyone cares what we think. We’re the future of the Catholic church. In order to properly have your voice heard, you need to get involved. Faith isn’t just about going to church on Sunday’s. It’s about what you do outside of that. I promise, people will listen.
Within my parish, we hosted a homeless shelter a few times a year. The youth group was always encouraged to go and hang out as some of the kids were often our age. Usually, there was a wait list. We couldn’t wait to get involved. We got to go and talk to these people and learn about their lives while we had dinner with them and played with the younger kids. The involvement from a younger age made us want to help others as we grew older. No matter the turn out at any given youth group meet, there was never a shortage of those wanting to help.
When it came time to choose our service projects for Confirmation, so many of us were so passionate about an organization we wanted to help. We ended up choose three places to help rather than one. We couldn’t pick just one place, we wanted to get involved everywhere.
Not once in my life, in any of the churches I’ve visited, have I ever felt anything but welcomed. At home, the first thing my pastor says at the start of mass is, “A special word of welcome to those who may be visiting or with us for the first time today.”
This is not to say I’ve never felt uncomfortable walking into a parish I’ve never been to and sitting among the regulars. I totally have. But I’m constantly greeted with smiles and open hearts.
If you don’t feel welcomed at your parish, try another one nearby. There is no shortage of Catholic churches all around. You will know when you’ve found the right fit.
If we don’t feel particularly thrilled after a week of mass, we use it as an excuse to not go back the following week. When someone feels they can’t get involved, some will walk away instead of finding the right person to go to. We’re so quick to make excuses for the things that don’t have an immediate solution rather than working to see change. You’ll always be able to find the right person to talk to if you want to start a young adult group or book club. You have to be willing to talk to others and find who that person is.
Once again, I can only really speak for my church. But every year, a document is released in our bulletin where the annual donations are listed along with every place the money went to. It is never a secret. Legally, a church has to publish where their money goes.
My priests’ homilies are always welcoming and inviting. They are never talking AT us. But rather, trying to help us help ourselves. They have words of encouragement and love. They want us to reflect.
Youth group, as I’ve already mentioned, met twice a week. Wednesday was an open night to come together and hang out. We had shared prayer together where we could offer any intentions that needed a prayer. Sunday nights, after 6:30pm mass, was discussion night. There was always a topic of discussion, but if there was something in particular you wanted to talk about or address, it was always the top priority. I always felt listened to.
My pastor deserves incredible recognition for the way he encourages spirituality. He is responsible for hiring the most incredible youth minister. My youth minister constantly stood by the open-door policy. He has probably listened to more problems and stories from teens than anyone else. As soon as we walk into youth group and see him and ask how he is tonight, his response is always, “I’m wonderful! Even better now that I’ve seen you!” I always felt important and I always felt loved.
Like anywhere, there will always be someone to give a movie, an organization, a band, etc. a bad name. Every so often, unfortunately, this happens in the Catholic church. It is always quickly addressed within individual parishes. We won’t ever turn a blind eye and pretend things don’t happen. They do. And we talk about those issues.
I wish everyone could be so lucky as to have been raised in my parish, I really do. Maybe then some people would feel differently. But everyone has their own parish and everyone has a first step. It’s never too late to start going to church. It’s never too late to start praying.
If you truly listen, you’ll understand that you’re in the right place.
