On March 28th, 2017, an Odyssey creator from Troy University published an article titled "Boyfriends Do Not Get Husband Privileges." The article can be found here. The article is well written and brings up some good points, although the topic in itself is controversial. While reading this article, I found myself reflecting on the traditional values it holds and how it seems to be commanding the reader to do something. This, I must say, offended me.
Right when I read the article, I knew what the article would be about. Opening the link, I had hoped it would be a sarcastic title and be encouraging readers to trust their partners on whatever level seemed appropriate to the at that time, but there was no such luck. While reading the article, I found myself getting angry. The one aspect that angered me the most was that despite the author's constant direction of the audience and trying to get the audience to do or act a certain way, she could not say the word "sex." The author dodges the word deliberately despite her strong belief on the subject.
The theme of traditional conservativism reflects in the author's saying that the partner should not receive these "privileges" (when did my body become the privilege of anyone? Even my husband will not be entitled to my body simply because of a piece of paper and a ring) "until he has reached that potential and has the capability to provide for you, make you his #1 privilege...). OK, whoa, hold up. Not only is the author assuming that the male role should still be the head of the house and be the sole breadwinner, she also states that the wife's body becomes the privilege of the husband, a very old belief that now produces eye rolls and sighs in today's society. The man should not make the woman a "privilege." I believe the author may have meant to use the word "priority." Even using this wording, the man and woman should BOTH make EACH OTHER priorities. That's what marriage is, what a relationship: a partnership. The definition of what marriage should be and is has changed, and if you still believe that marriage is a man taking care of a woman and the woman devoting her life and body to her husband, you should get with the times.
My opinion is this: If you can not say the word "sex" within an article regarding sex, you're not ready to participate in it. However, I strongly believe that the author's commanding the audience of what to do with their partners. The author says "Don't give him things that his title in your life doesn't entail," but what if my partner, male or female, is entitled to whatever privileges I decide to give them?
You are entitled to your own opinion and you are most definitely entitled to voice your opinion, but you are not entitled to push your opinions on others and direct your audience what they should or should not do with their own boyfriends/girlfriends in the privacy of their own homes and when they are ready.
I was raised in the church. Saying this, I was raised to believe that sex is to wait until marriage, no questions asked. But when I grew up emotionally and branched out into my own beliefs, I believe that when two consenting people share a special emotional connection (or any kind of connection), they are allowed to do whatever their want with the confines of their own home and express their love and emotions in whatever reason they see fit.
Sex is not just the act of trying to get someone pregnant. Sex is a meaningful and emotional physical connection that two consensual people can engage in. Sex is no longer just "consummating a marriage." My point is this: My boyfriend will receive whatever "privileges" that we agree on and that we as two consenting adults decide is best for our present situation in life. We are partners in life. We do plan on getting married when the time is right but when we do, we will not be getting married just so we can engage in the physical activities the author associates with marriage. He is my shoulder to cry on and the arms I run into when I need to feel protected and supported, and he will receive "husband privileges" because I consider them so much more than "privileges."
