The past few years have been an incredibly wild ride. After graduating high school, working different jobs, and starting college, I've made friends and I have lost friends. I've ended relationships and started new ones. I've loved myself and I have hated myself. The one thing that has not changed along with me is that toxic people are alive, well, and still lurking in my life. Why am I letting that happen? Why do so many people keep these energy suckers around?
I've always been a lonely person. I don't have too many friends let alone people who truly care about my well being. I always seem to have those so-called friends who only come around when they need something. There's definitely no shortage of Negative Nancy's. I've let these people linger around in my life for so long, I sometimes forget how terrible their intentions are. I've held on to this false sense of security in these people who only care about themselves. My insecurity has fought to keep these people around, and as I grow older and I become more confident in myself, I realize I don't need that false security anymore. I don't need anybody that does not need me.
Growing up, I used to cry to my mom that I was lonely. I had been way more mature for my age than the other kids, and no one ever seemed to understand me. All I ever wanted was a friend to understand me, be there for me, and respect me. She always told me, "Leah, you are your own best friend." It wasn't until I was older that it truly resonated with me. All of these years have past and I finally believe her. I am okay with not having anyone, as long as I am secure with myself. There is nothing wrong with being a loner.
It's okay to let go. It's okay to have enough respect for yourself to drop toxic people without a warning. You do not owe anyone an explanation, you do not owe anyone anything. You should be able to unfollow and defriend anyone you want if it helps you let go. All lessons come with time, but I wish I would have learned mine a little sooner. It would have saved me a lot of heartbreak to know that people are not always meant to be or stay in your life.
Love yourself, respect yourself and honor yourself. After all, you are your own best friend.
