"Is It That Easy To Forget Me?"

"Is It That Easy To Forget Me?"

I wrote something sad again.
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Ever since I was a little girl, I have always felt as though I did not fit into the social norm; I had a lot of energy but I tended to be incredibly shy. Because of this, for some strange reason I had difficulty making friends. When I did make a friend, they would eventually leave me and become friends with someone else. All of those months of getting up the nerve to ask other girls in my neighborhood if they wanted to play "Barbie" with me would just become a memory to me. It is interesting how rather this innocent example is still relevant for me and I will be a senior in college.

Why is it that almost every person I hold a bond with tends to "forget" that I still exist? It just makes me feel like I am not good enough for anyone, whether it be through platonic friendships or even some family members. I am not asking for pity or anything but it has always been a question of mine since I was little, "Is it really that easy to forget me"? Sometimes I think that if I were more outgoing, people would like me more. Yes, I will admit that I tend to be a people pleaser, but can you blame me? I want to be more than the "nice, pretty girl" that I am known for because I want to be someone to make a difference on people's lives. If I can make one person smile every day, it makes my feel so much better.

At this point in my life, I have become more confident in myself in that I refuse to be the one to always initiate every get-together or conversation with people. If someone really cares about you, they will find a way to reach you. This is something new for me because I was always the type of person to be initiating every conversation, every get-together, etc. It was exhausting trying to please everyone this way. I am done trying to please people and am finally becoming my own person. With that being said, I am not ignoring people (friends, family, etc.), but I am not going to put in the effort if someone is not going to reciprocate the same effort back. I understand that life gets busy but I should not be the only person reaching out. If anyone reading this thinks that this is written about them, it might be but consider the fact that this feeling of "I will never be good enough for people to stay with me" has been occurring since I was a little girl - aka there have been more than one person to have walked away from me.

I am not perfect and I have been that friend to have purposely distanced myself with someone (sometimes you get to know people and you know your close friendship is better off acquainted), but it just hurts when the people closest to you stop reaching out to you anymore and you feel like you don't know what you did wrong. As far as old friendships go, I will always be the type of friend who will be there for someone even though things may have fizzled out so I wish nothing but the best for everyone who I have had the chance to get to know. If you are reading this and know you were one to distance yourself from me, please know that I do not hate you, I just hate the feeling of losing someone again and as long as you are happy, I am happy too.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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21 Things You Say To Your Roommate If You Two Are Practically A Married Couple

Until I made this list, I didn't realize how absurdly close my roommate and I were. #sorrynotsorry
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1. "Can you turn the light off?"

2. "We probably shouldn't go out for dinner again...right?"

*complains about not having money* *spends $8 on Chipotle three times a week*

3. "I always pick where we go"

This is a fight you have with your roommate almost every day when you're roommate is as indecisive as mine.

4. "Do you have my keys?"

5. "Can you pick me up?"

6. "Is it hot in here?"

7. "Does this outfit look stupid?"

The answer is usually yes. No offense.

8. "Can you throw this out for me?"

9. "Can we get ice cream?"

10. "I need coffee"

This text is usually sent when you know your roomie is out running errands... errands you know are near a Starbucks.

11. "Can you tell me what happened?"

12. "Are you asleep?"

There have been times where I couldn't tell if you were asleep or dead... and I had to say this out loud to check if you were alive.

13. "Check your dm's."

*cracks up in the middle of nowhere* *catches a weird stare from your roomie across the room*

14. "Can you plug this in for me?"

15. "Can you pick a movie?"

Another instance where "I always pick" happens.

16. "Look at this girl's Instagram."

*chucks phone across the room at roommate*

17. "Can you call me?"

18. "Can we meet up?"

Separation anxiety is a real thing, people.

19. "Can you help me find my phone?"

*Tries to leave the house to do something* *loses phone* every. time.

20. "What should we do tonight?"

*tries to get ready to do something fun* *ends up staying in for another girls night*

21. "Why isn't everyone as great as us?"


Cover Image Credit: Juliarose Genuardi

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A Letter To The People I Met Freshman Year

To my friends who are now family, thank you.
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To my new family,

I would like to start by saying thank you for making this first year of college better than I could have ever imagined.

Since we just said our goodbyes a little over a week ago, it is time to reflect on these past nine months. Even though I cried for days saying goodbye to you all one by one, these months were filled with so much love and happiness, and for this, I am so grateful.

It is bittersweet because although high school was memorable, college is where we have started to gain the most knowledge, the best friends and the greatest memories of our lives. I believe that college is where it all happens and so far, I have proven myself right. These years will shape the rest of our lives, and that excites me so much.

I was incredibly grateful this year to have met people with such big smiles and even bigger hearts.

I have so much confidence that these relationships we have formed will last a lifetime. It is crazy when you think that we are still so young yet we have practically lived together for these past months, seeing each other every day and experiencing each other from all perspectives; It must be a sign that we are not yet sick of each other. You have made me laugh, cry, smile so hard it hurts, and everything in between.

To my future roommates, I cannot wait to experience the opportunity to live with my best friends.

To my crazy friends, you are truly insane, but I love you and will never stop caring for you.

To the person I least expected to meet, my love; I will never forget you or this incredible freshman year with you.

There is nothing better than finding people that understand your soul and love you for who you are. The people I have met this past year are the most genuine and amazing people I have ever encountered; I never saw this coming. But this eventful year filled with so many experiences was the best surprise I could have asked for.

This is the first step of our adulthood and together we will grow into amazing human beings; we will make mistakes, go through many trials and tribulations, but the most important thing is that we will be by each other's sides.

Not all of it will be hard though, we will make memories that will last a lifetime and even when we are telling them as we get older, we will still smile and be overcome with nostalgia as if they were yesterday. I promise to be there for you all through thick and thin and to always love you and be there for you. I never want these memories with you all to end.

I may be known as the girl who loves way too hard, but frankly, you are all worth it. Thank you, and I am so excited for these next three years and a lifetime with you all.

Cover Image Credit: Abigail Merritt

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