"Is It That Easy To Forget Me?"

"Is It That Easy To Forget Me?"

I wrote something sad again.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always felt as though I did not fit into the social norm; I had a lot of energy but I tended to be incredibly shy. Because of this, for some strange reason I had difficulty making friends. When I did make a friend, they would eventually leave me and become friends with someone else. All of those months of getting up the nerve to ask other girls in my neighborhood if they wanted to play "Barbie" with me would just become a memory to me. It is interesting how rather this innocent example is still relevant for me and I will be a senior in college.

Why is it that almost every person I hold a bond with tends to "forget" that I still exist? It just makes me feel like I am not good enough for anyone, whether it be through platonic friendships or even some family members. I am not asking for pity or anything but it has always been a question of mine since I was little, "Is it really that easy to forget me"? Sometimes I think that if I were more outgoing, people would like me more. Yes, I will admit that I tend to be a people pleaser, but can you blame me? I want to be more than the "nice, pretty girl" that I am known for because I want to be someone to make a difference on people's lives. If I can make one person smile every day, it makes my feel so much better.

At this point in my life, I have become more confident in myself in that I refuse to be the one to always initiate every get-together or conversation with people. If someone really cares about you, they will find a way to reach you. This is something new for me because I was always the type of person to be initiating every conversation, every get-together, etc. It was exhausting trying to please everyone this way. I am done trying to please people and am finally becoming my own person. With that being said, I am not ignoring people (friends, family, etc.), but I am not going to put in the effort if someone is not going to reciprocate the same effort back. I understand that life gets busy but I should not be the only person reaching out. If anyone reading this thinks that this is written about them, it might be but consider the fact that this feeling of "I will never be good enough for people to stay with me" has been occurring since I was a little girl - aka there have been more than one person to have walked away from me.

I am not perfect and I have been that friend to have purposely distanced myself with someone (sometimes you get to know people and you know your close friendship is better off acquainted), but it just hurts when the people closest to you stop reaching out to you anymore and you feel like you don't know what you did wrong. As far as old friendships go, I will always be the type of friend who will be there for someone even though things may have fizzled out so I wish nothing but the best for everyone who I have had the chance to get to know. If you are reading this and know you were one to distance yourself from me, please know that I do not hate you, I just hate the feeling of losing someone again and as long as you are happy, I am happy too.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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Warren Blewster Laid Down His Life For His Country, And This Is All We Have Left From Him

I hope that what you take from this is that this man existed.

In early February of 2018, I inherited the private diary of Warren Davis "Buddy" Blewster, a young man from Anniston, Alabama who was killed in action on the island of Guadalcanal.

There is not much left to describe the story of "Buddy" except for the few articles I have found and a couple of photographs someone gave me. It has been a weight on my chest since receiving the diary to write about him, to tell the story our community needs to hear.

I do not know much about Warren except for the fact that he loved his country enough to sacrifice his greatest love, baseball to serve his country. He played ball for many years including his senior year at Anniston High School.

Warren Davis Blewster enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and was sent the Solomon Islands in 1942. He arrived on the island of Guadalcanal on August 7, 1942, and he began writing a diary every day up until 2 days before his youthful death on October 22, 1942. He was buried by the military. In 1948 his mother requested his body and the Marine Corps returned it home to her. He is buried at Edgemont Cemetary in Anniston, Alabama.

I want the community to know the story of Warren Davis Blewster the heroic Marine who laid down his life for his country.

I will close with the poem a fellow serviceman wrote in the back of his diary.

To Our Blew

"You will never find a man,

so fine as Blew,

Doing his bit for his country,

the same as all of you.

He was my best friend,

From boot camp till the end,

Always standing gun watches,

from start till the end.

To all the boys the knew him

He was their friend,

Yes, to all the boys from Co (M)

He was their friend right till the end.

He will never be forgotten

Even though he is dead,

Because in our hearts

He will be man's best friend.

To the ones that did this

they will pay,

It may take some time

to put them away."

--Bucko Boulett

I hope that what you take from this is that this man existed. Even though time continues to trudge on and men like him are forgotten-- remember that they did, in fact, exist. Warren Davis Blewster was a hero because he served his country until death, and for that, he should be remembered.

Cover Image Credit: Zachary Grizzard

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An Open Letter To Unsatisfied 'Just Friends' Everywhere

Why it's okay to stay just as you are, friends.

You know the ones to which I'm referring.

The always-together, chemistry more prevalent than in the science building, sparks flying as if you're at a small town summertime barbecue 'friends'. The "you're a dork, but if anyone else says that, I'll punch them in the face and then flick them with my ponytail as I walk away" 'friends'. The "she was cute; maybe you should go for her (but that's an absolute lie)" 'friends'.

I've been there. I get it. You love him. You love him in a drive 3.6 miles to the nearest 24 hr Walgreens at 2 AM for Fruity Pebbles type of way. You love him in a pretend to hate driving in favor of being his permanent shotgun rider type of way. In a watch him write numbers in binary code or play hours on end of Super Smash Bros type of way.

So do it.

Love him.

Love him in all those ways and more. But most importantly- love him in a be his 'just friend', when you resign you cannot be his 'I love you', type of way.

Support him in every possible aspect of his life. Laugh at his terrible jokes. Be his go-to for anything and everything. Be his first "hey!" and his favorite "see you tomorrow". Make friends with his roommates and be kind to his conquests.

Give him no reason not to love you in return; we all know he does-and will- anyway, he just needs some time to grow and realize that you are indeed what he does not know he is missing.

Be completely and brutally honest with him.

Tell him up front when he is not being your favorite person, and tell him twice when he is. Buy him two Three Musketeers bars when you're buying yourself a MilkyWay, and tell him that you still love him- even though your candy choice is superior because it includes caramel.

Offer to help him clean and then let his 6'7" self-hold the dustpan as you sweep because "the floor is too far away" for your 5'4" figure to squat down and do it instead. Memorize his Subway order subconsciously- and more quickly than any of the workers- even though it's useless, as you know that if either of you goes to Subway, you'll be joined by the other.

Travel to his hometown and meet his parents on a whim- wearing a t-shirt and your trusty Nike sweatpants. Make them love you anyway somehow and let them tell him on their own that they like you and think you're "the one."

Laugh when he tells you this- trust me. It will take him a while to realize that they know best.

Cover Image Credit: Erin Campbell

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