These are not the resolutions that we as college students want to have. However, they are the resolutions we need to make.
1. Find a favorite study spot... and USE it.
Because nothing will motivate you more than sharing a special bond with one particular cubicle in the library. You'll find yourself getting slightly more territorial, but also getting better grades.
2. Discover the joys of salad.
Did you know that ranch dressing doesn't contain much protein? Throwing it over the components of a BLT and calling it a salad does not make it healthy. Sign up for Pinterest and find a whole new world of healthy eats.
3. Spend less, save more.
There are ways to do this and still have fun! For example, dollar a slice nights at bars are very convenient for the hungry college student looking to save an extra 75 cents.
4. Apply for internships/jobs.
I know it hurts but look towards the future. It is blinding (not because it's so bright, but because the shock of reality is stunning). But it is necessary! Create a nice go-to resume and CV template and send them out like there's no tomorrow, or no paycheck for tomorrow, at least.
5. Make new friends (but keep the old!).
Ah, the Girl Scouts of America taught me well. One word: connections. The friendly kid in your poli-sci class may have an uncle who works at the place you applied for that summer internship... you never know. Don't put on a sour face just because you're settled in with your friends already.
6. Clean your room!
Seriously, this is practice for the real world, where you won't always be able to rely on your roommate's sensibilities and may find yourself living in a place fit for TLC's "Hoarders: Buried Alive." Learn how to use Lysol and fold pants.
7. Chill with the alcohol.
And I do mean chill it. If you're going to drink, make sure your beverages are being properly stored in a refrigerator if applicable. Pick up a bartender's manual. Learn how to be classy about your girl's night out and perhaps you'll actually cultivate a cultured taste for fine liqueurs instead of just impressing people with the amount of tequila shots you can take.
8. You DO have time to learn that hobby.
Knitting? Try it. Ukulele? There's an app for that. Whatever your previously squelched passion is, dust it off and give it a shot. That way, years from now when you're bored, lonely and sad, you can knit or play a song or paint and think, gee, I do have something to contribute to this planet!
9. You also have time to go to the gym.
Hah, this one's fun. It's fun because it's the same promise we halfheartedly make to ourselves after every major holiday when we've sufficiently gorged ourselves on festive foods. This time, start small -- drag yourself there twice a week and alternate weights and cardio and end with a bang. The bang is you finding your motivation, you lazy doofus.
10. Call your MOM.
And your dad. And your sibling. And your grandmother. They could all use a nice chat with you! It shows real maturity to pick up the phone and ask your brother how his college search is going. This will win you brownie points with your family and they may even send you real brownies in a care package. One can always hope!
11. Alternate between treating yo'self and denying yo'self.
Yes, you do deserve those $2 funky socks in the CVS checkout line! No, you do not deserve three slices of your friend's birthday cake. Pick and choose moments to splurge on sleep, money, food, whatever. You don't need to be a scrooge/grinch/lame-o, but indulging in manicures, movie tickets, and Chipotle may decrease your threshold for happiness over time (thanks, psych 101!) and give you e coli.
12. But ALL the time, love yo'self.
Nothing says new year, new me like actually bothering to get to know and enjoy spending time with that yourself. I don't care how introverted or extroverted you claim to be, in fact, I believe there's now this new thing called amniverted, which basically means you're a normal human being who needs to not be with other people every second of their lives. So, basically talk to yourself the way you want other people to talk to you -- or alternatively, the way you might talk to a child. You're a special little nugget! Even if nobody else recognizes your knitting/ukulele talents, it's important that you do.
Happy New Year, now let's all continue to write "2015" on our papers.
