Well, everyone, it is the new year and you know what that means! It is time for those pesky resolutions we don't intend on keeping after March at the latest! No one is innocent here—we have all found ourselves slacking on one or all of these at one time or another. This is a judge-free zone. So let's begin.

1. Getting healthy:

"This is the year I will finally lose those pounds."

"I really need to bulk up and finally have muscle."

Whatever it may be, we all hit the gym for three weeks and end up at home eating chips after that. Besides, you'll end up watching "The Biggest Loser" season opener and tell yourself "I'm not that fat. Yet."

2. Grades:

"I'm going to try this year."

"B's are average. I'm okay with average."

"C's get degrees, am I right?"

"Let us bow our heads and pray for a curve."

'Nuff said.

3. Finding "The One":

Now, I don't mean Mr. Forever, but some people devote their new year to settling down a little and finding some fulfillment in a relationship. Psht. You can do bad all by yourself.

4. Going out more:

You feel like last year you were a stick in the mud. It's time to make memories! No matter how many times you watch "Gossip Girl," the story will never change. The Netflix can wait..... right? LOL No!

5. Going out less:

Failed a class, almost died, spent all your money, gained 10 pounds, every day partying was not good to you last year. Stay in now, get those grades up, and resist......the.....frat.....how did I get to frat row?

6. Eat like a grown up:

Whole grains, fruit, veggies, fish, things that aren't just low calorie, but have actual nutrition. Dino Nuggets have kept me alive and moving for the past 20 years, and I expect them to do the same for the next 20.