It’s 2018! Once again we’ve ushered in a brand new year. I’ll admit I’ve never been the biggest fan of New Year’s resolutions; they can be restrictive and entirely discouraging if left unachieved.

Nonetheless, there’s something undeniably appealing about a chance to start over. Who doesn’t yearn for a clean slate?

So this year, I’ve decided to give myself a goal. It’s not a number on a scale or a title on a resume. Instead, my resolution is to be more forgiving, both to others and to myself.

We live in a harsh world. Traits like strength and grit are necessary not only to succeed but also to survive.

We’ve become so accustomed to fighting the good fight that we’ve unwittingly welcomed less covetable traits like coldness, isolation, and apathy into our lives.

I’ve certainly felt the sting of strength’s double edge sword. More than once I’ve found myself so enveloped in fixing my own problems that I was obtuse to the struggles of those around me. It’s all too easy to become absorbed in a bubble fit for one.

I’m removing myself from this cycle of solitude.

I feel like a hamster on a wheel, sweating my way through life’s never-ending hills and valleys. It’s not that I want to stop pedaling altogether. I simply wish to acknowledge those around me, equally exasperated, and say something like, “Wow, this is crazy, isn’t it?”

Because every single person on this earth is trekking through some sort of adversity. As much as we love comparing tragedies and defining what a “real” problem is, the truth of the matter is it’s all relative. Everyone experiences loss. Everyone feels pain. There’s nothing to be gained from trivializing the emotions of others.

Sometimes a person just needs to be heard. Discussing such sensitive topics can be uncomfortable. I’m going to work through this discomfort. I’m going to listen, even when it’s hard, and offer compassion and understanding instead of judgment or ridicule.

And when people need more than just a listening ear, I want to be a person they come to for action.

This may be overwhelming at times. After all, I have my own trials to navigate.

That’s where being more forgiving of myself comes into play. And honestly, for me, that’s the hardest part of my resolution.

I will struggle and struggle with my own solutions before simply asking another for help. I’ll stew in silence internally mulling over a conflict for hours before confiding in anyone if I even do. When something goes wrong, it’s like a little wall goes up in my brain and every cog starts churning full speed echoing, “Fix it, fix it, fix it”.

I know I’m not alone in this. To anyone who relates, you know how exhausting it is. This is an obscene amount of energy to funnel into making sure nobody else is troubled by my troubles. Only recently have I realized how silly this is.

It’s like I’m having a heart attack in a hospital. They’re fully equipped to help me, but instead of accepting treatment I say, “No, no, don’t trouble yourselves. I’ll just writhe in pain in the corner for a few hours and see if I survive. That’ll be easier for everyone.” Will it? Will it really?

I don’t know why I expect myself to be able to fix every single one of my own problems. I don’t expect this superhuman standard from anyone else, and honestly, I don’t think a single person expects it from me. I have a network of people who would happily be there for me in times of need. I need to allow myself to be vulnerable and ask for help. I need to allow myself to be human.

By relinquishing this impossible standard I’ve set for myself, I’m freeing up energy that can go towards helping others. We all have resources and experiences that can benefit someone in need. Instead of relying solely on our own supply, we may find it advantageous to look around once in a while and see what a neighbor has to offer.

It’s fantastic that we live in a society that praises independence. Like most things in life, it requires balance. There’s a way to seek help without becoming co-dependent.

At one point or another, we all need assistance with a situation.

It’s important that we don’t lose the ability to seek it.

This is my New Year’s resolution. I invite anyone to participate with me in making the world a more compassionate place. Let’s work to acknowledge each other and respect each other and be aware of unseen battles taking place everyday.

We can’t eliminate the strife of the world, but we can certainly help each other through it. Let’s be a little kinder, both to our world and to ourselves.